Five months. I remember how much Relly loved celebrating monthsaries. Every first of the month was a monthsary of when we finally confessed we were a couple. Every 18th was a monthsary of our wedding. I am so sad about this monthsary, because five months ago today, my Bear passed on into the Skyworld after fighting harder than anyone I know to live and recover from three strokes that took away his ability to speak and his mobility. Yet I remind myself than nothing, not even death, took away his courage, dignity and strength. I still mourn the man who fought with such determination, intelligence and grace to keep giving his wife and daughters the best of himself, no matter the odds. My tears fill my sleeplessness still. Because it is a monthsary, I observe it the way we celebrated all the other monthsaries: By renewing my choice of love and my choice of life. I have put away the knives I have spent the night cleaning and polishing with the same love and care he gave them. I tend our cats the same way he tended them. I stand strong as I can even if I feel crippled by grief still. Because he married a woman he deemed strong, beautiful, wise and worth every pain and drop of sweat to have as wife. Bitterness is only the aftertaste of the sweetest love I have ever known. So be it. I choose strength.
Posted on: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 21:15:09 +0000
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