Folks, I got a story that will make you sick, well it has me sick already and I didn’t even tell it to you yet. Talk about hanging on to your bloomers and toupees well this will blow them away. I was in an Irish pub with my Irish friend, Mickey J, the name has been changed to protect the innocent cos he’s a wanted man somewhere, yeah that nutter who introduced me to a lot of crazy ideas. He was looking depressed so I asked him why the gloomy face. He told me he just heard an old flame of his had died. So I asked him how long ago, two weeks. So I jumped out of my seat after drinking that glass of tequila and we ran home to get two shovels and he wanted to know what for, so we can excavate her remains up. So he looks at me and says did you hear what I said, she’s dead. Yeah but if you want to keep her alive we can taxidermy her body. What do you mean; she’s deader than a door nail. So I sat him down and explained what I was planning to do if my lover girl dies. Stuff her up and mount her body on the wall like them game hunters do, but we’re not just going to put her head up there, the whole body plus I can’t bare cutting her head off that’s too gruesome. So he asked me what I’m going to do with her body. So I smiled at him, when you freaking get that urge you mount her, you climb up a ladder and have your way with it. He smiled and gave me a great big ole hug that almost knocked the wind out of me. Now tell me I aint smart, brighter than a light bulb that’s for sure. So we rush over to the graveyard and we dig her up. Well this is why I said hang on to your bloomers and toupees, her body was partially wormed up, you know decayed so I said oh well there goes your urges it’s too late but if you want a souvenir that’s all you can have. Hey you should see what I took, don’t ask it’s in my freezer next to the other chicken breasts. He took a piece of her heart. Now tell me I aint good for something, hey you got a love one I suggest you get them to sign a prenuptial agreement, that way you can satisfy your urges, byeeeee, https://youtube/watch?v=lpUbIjZBODE
Posted on: Mon, 22 Dec 2014 08:45:20 +0000
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