Folks, I have to say something that is very distressing and embarrassing for me to admit. Before my mea culpa, though, I want to ask for all of you to pray for my children. We can all use some prayers about now. Ive been contemplating writing this message for a while now, but my ego kept getting in the way. Back in mid-July, I was seriously struggling personally and professionally, and it all boiled over when, on July 15, the Dept. of Children and Families took my children and placed them into foster care. I will not speak to why they could not be placed with their mother, but suffice to say, that is not an option. At the beginning of this process, DCF would have had me believe that I could whip the house into shape and the kids would be back within a matter of days. I resolved to do whatever they asked, be as reasonable as possible, and hope they were true to their word. Turns out they have not been, because at every turn, I have asked them to provide me with a comprehensive action list to satisfy them. First, they wanted face plates on a few electrical outlets, they wanted power strips with a surge protector instead of multiplugs and extension cords. I did both of those tasks immediately. They also said that on their first visit they found three - count em three - fleas during their visit. This, they characterized as an infestation. In the mean time, having addressed their previous concerns, I had already contracted with an exterminator, anticipating this would be on their list. In the weeks that have passed, we have gotten that under control. A week ago today, responding to the DCF report that there was a strong odor of dogs around the house, the magistrate said we should do something to address the odor problem. I already planned to pull up the carpet in the living room any way, and in fact planned to remove all the carpets in the house, because I am allergic to dust, and for that matter, so is Tyler, my oldest son. So with that as a new issue of concern, I removed the carpet in the living room, which was the worst of the lot. At that point, DCF reported to me that they had to do a home inspection, and I expressed to them that the house was under construction, and it was not ready for an inspection. They came any way and spent three hours in the home. During that time, they reported not seeing a single live bug, which was huge, because they had previously said that if they saw even one, they could not recommend placing the children in the home, so I felt we had crossed a major hurdle. Still, I knew that because Madam DCF had gone around the house taking pictures during her visit, those pictures would go into the report to the magistrate, and I would need to have pictures of my own, post-construction, so the magistrate could see the real current condition of the house. This is why I took the pictures I posted of my living room, but I also took pictures of every other room in the house. My plan, last Thursday, had been to remove all the carpeting in the whole house, and lay new floor coverings, whether it be tile, laminate or paint, but Madam DCF advised that she would be satisfied with deep cleaning the carpets elsewhere. So when I went to Lowes and bought the paint for the living room, I also rented a steam cleaner, and I steam-cleaned all the remaining carpets twice. Then, on the chance that someone has a more sensitive nose than me, I also sprinkled the carpets with an odor eliminating powder. When I left the court today, the magistrate advised that we were making progress, but it would behoove me to speak with Madam DCF to learn from her exactly what they want me to do (something I have been requesting since the fateful night when the children left). After court, I was speaking with an attorney appointed by the court to represent the interests of the children, and while I was talking with him, Madam DCF and her supervisor high-tailed it out of the court house, so I could not speak with them. Instead, when I returned home, I called Madam DCF and informed her that I will not schedule another site visit until they provide me with a comprehensive list in writing of everything they want done, after having done their inspection last Thursday. The magistrate advised several families whose case came before ours that if DCF does not respond to their requests within 24 hours, they should call his office and their attorneys office immediately, to put pressure on the department to respond. Therefore, when I left the message for Madam DCF, I advised her that she has 24 hours to comply with my request, or I will report the matter to my attorney and the magistrate. Any guess whether they provide me with that list? I am not optimistic. That pretty much brings us up to the present. I have kept quiet about this and nearly all matters about the children out of a sense of hope that they would be home before anyone noticed they were missing. Now, after this hearing today, I do not see a path to reunification happening any time soon, unless there is a case of divine intervention. This is why I am asking for prayers. I am not worried about me - I am a big boy and have dealt with adversity myself. I am very worried about my children, though. They are suffering, and they are the greatest pawns in this game of chess DCF seems hell-bent to play.
Posted on: Mon, 18 Aug 2014 20:54:09 +0000
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