Food 4 Thought..... Passive-Aggressive Behaviour You are so angry you refuse to act, and no one can ever make you do what you dont want to. This is as violent and destructive as a fist fight but so much more deniable and self-righteous. If you want to look good while doing bad, this is the approach for you, but dont be surprised if you get stuck in a long, painful, and destructive cycle. Definitions: Hostile Inaction, Covert violence, Covert defiance, Stealth spite, Seeking revenge by refusing to act. Here are some of the passive aggressive ways people express their anger: Grin fake: Saying “yes” and smiling pleasantly while meaning “no way”. Denying hostility; “who me?” Exploiting plausible deniability; “I never would have done that.” Looking good while doing bad. Delay and other forms of obstruction. The “silent treatment” and other forms of pouting and playing the victim. Stonewalling; stalling or delaying especially by refusing to answer questions or cooperate. Manipulation; controlling people without letting them know you are doing so. Acting outside of trust. Passive withdrawal, lack of response, lack of cooperation, sabotage, covert revenge. Suffering in silence . . . while fueling resentment, justifying retaliation, and expecting to gain leverage, pity, or salvation for your suffering. Playing the victim, feigning powerlessness, pretending you dont have any choices, denying your responsibility. Playing the martyr—publicly selecting (or acquiescing to) an undesirable alternative for the purpose of justifying revenge or extracting pity. Talking about your adversary while never talking to him about the troubling behavior. Fueling the Fire A particularly destructive cycle happens when a passive aggressive response is used in a relationship with an overtly hostile or violent adversary. The overtly hostile person is provoked into performing a particularly violent anger display. This is then used to justify the passive aggressive response: “Ill show him and I refuse to become violent like he is.” This hostile inaction fuels the rage of the overtly hostile partner and the cycle continues or escalates. End the cycle by working together to travel down a constructive anger path. emotionalcompetency/pa.htm
Posted on: Mon, 06 Oct 2014 07:49:42 +0000
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