For Immediate Release: At noon today, Speaker of the House John Boehner and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell announced that both houses of Congress have adopted, in strictly party line votes, a resolution formally ending the designation of sliced fried potatoes served at the Capitol cafeteria as Freedom Fries, and in honor of their great sacrifice made in the War On Terror, shall and will, henceforth and forthwith, etc., etc., etc., be served under the long-standing name French Fries, that was eliminated following the decision by France not to bomb Iraq for no apparent reason in March of 2003. Boehner and McConnell requested the forbearance of the citizens of both France and the United States in awaiting the change of lettering on cafeteria signage and the issuing of new paper menus, as the budget lines for both were eliminated during the sequestration of 2013, and not restored in subsequent budget negotiations just signed into law. This resolution is in keeping with the two bedrock Republican Party principles of strong national defense and fiscal responsibility, said Boehner. If you say French Fries at the counter, all staff have been advised to prepare and serve sliced fried potatoes, McConnell added, as Boehner stepped outside for a cigarette. President Obama was not immediately available for comment. King Phillippe of Belgium, thought by many to hold a largely ceremonial post, held a very short press conference at which he tersely said Baisez-vous, vous tous, and departed without taking questions. Analysts have speculated he used the formal pronoun and conjugation in keeping with the traditions of royal decorum.
Posted on: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 19:11:04 +0000
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