For a long period of time, a part of my life that I now think of as the dark age, I suffered from depression and acute anxiety. For a similarly long period of time, I didnt dare tell this to anyone except for one person. One person in the entire world. It wasnt that I didnt want to - I simply didnt know how to - because what would I tell my friends? That sometimes I felt so bad I wanted to kill myself? That my depressed feelings were robbing me of every joy imaginable in life? That whenever the anxiety/panic attacks hit, I would feel like I had gone mad? I didnt want them to think of me as a crazy person. Heck, I didnt want MYSELF to think of me as a crazy person! So the thing is, this is the almost fairy tale ending: even though I never saw a psychiatrist/psychotherapist, never took a single prescription drug, and even though it took awhile - years, in fact - but I eventually came out of it. In those years the metaphor I most identified with was the guy in one of Murakamis novels who spent much of his time in a deep dark well. That was how I felt while in the monstrous grasps of this crippling depression and anxiety - like I was alone in a dark place, like I would never, ever, ever, ever get out of it. This was how hopeless it felt. But I did, and that is the good, good, good news because it feels SO DAMN GOOD to live without depression and anxiety. So damn good. And that is also why I am no longer afraid of sharing my story with people about this part of my life, because I want to spread hope. Not fake optimism, but hope, a solid rope out of the deep dark well. And because I know many people are suffering silently from mental illness but, not knowing that its okay to be sick psychologically, mistakenly think that they have gone crazy. So they dont seek help. So they dont tell the people around them. So they suffer without realizing that they dont have to. And then they kill themselves. So I want to share my story and I want to educate anyone I can reach out to about how misunderstood mental illness is in this society of ours, and I want to let YOU - if you are currently suffering from depression or anxiety or any other mental illness - know that there is HOPE. It is possible to recover totally or substantially from whatever you are feeling now, and even if total recovery seems far off in the future, dont give up. Stay on the road. Everyday brings you closer to where you need to be. Dont ever give up. (And if you are currently having these feelings and need someone to talk to, feel free to drop me a message! Id love to share more with you.) I am telling my story today also because my awesome talented big-hearted friends 插班生 the Freshman (Diya Tan + Carrie Yeo) are doing a charity show this December where all the proceeds will go to 2 charities - the Singapore Association of Mental Health and Autism Association (Singapore). Every ticket costs $50, but will also be matched dollar-for-dollar by the government (under the Community Chest “Care and Share” programme), so your $50 contribution becomes $200 in donation. Mental illness / mental health issues are misunderstood and avoided and stigmatized and under-discussed in Singapore, so lets all do our part to tear down the walls of ignorance and apathy. Lets help Singaporeans (and other human beings) become more compassionate and have more empathy towards those suffering from any kind of mental illness, so that they too may one day experience real peace and joy and happiness in their hearts. For more information / to buy the tickets, you can go to thefreshman.sg/product/ticket. Thank you so much and see you there!
Posted on: Sun, 14 Dec 2014 16:01:43 +0000
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