For all my friends in the mental health field: this is important information! A number of signs exist for the presence of a betrayal bond: 1. When everyone around the client is having negative reactions so strong the client is covering up, defending, or explaining a relationship. 2. When there is a constant pattern of non-performance and the client continues to expect them to follow through anyway. 3. When there are repetitive, destructive fights that are no win for anybody. 4. When others are horrified by something that has happened to the client and the client isn’t. 5. When the client obsesses about showing someone that they are wrong about the abuse, their relationship, or their treatment of the client. 6. When the client feels loyal to someone even though the client harbors secrets that are damaging to others. 7. When the client moves closer to someone who is destructive with the desire of converting them to a non-abuser. 8. When someone’s talents, charisma, or contributions causes the client to overlook destructive, exploitive, or degrading acts. 9. When the client cannot detach from someone even though the client does not trust, like or care for the person. 10. When the client misses a relationship even to the point of nostalgia and longing that was so awful it almost destroyed the client. 11. When extraordinary demands are placed on the client to measure up as a way to cover up exploitation of the client. 12. When the client keeps secret someone’s destructive behavior because of all of the good they have done or the importance of their position or career. 13. When the history of their relationship is about contracts or promises that have been broken, which the client are asked to overlook. They all involve exploitation of trust or power or both. They all can result in a bond with a person who is dangerous and exploitive. Signs of betrayal bonding include misplaced loyalty, inability to detach, and self-destructive denial. Professional therapists can be so focused on their client’s woundedness; they will overlook the trauma bonds that may remain.
Posted on: Wed, 10 Dec 2014 13:17:14 +0000
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