For the longest time, I used to think that the way that I live my life from day to day was without purpose, or without anchor. The question, What do you want to be when you grow up always seemed unfathomable to me as an adolescent, because I didnt want to grow up at all!! Growing up seemed like the death of my inner child, and there was an irritating contradiction in that!! I wanted to mature, but I didnt want to become what this culture wanted of me by this age... For me, I knew it would kill me on the inside... its just not for everyone. So I decided to devote my life towards each moment.... instead of thinking, what do i want to permanently be for the rest of my life i thought, what do I want to be right now? Its changed over the years... Ive wanted to be a model, a writer, a painter, a traveler, a dancer, a healer, a singer... its always changing. The more I transmute from one version of myself to another, new aspirations arise. But it doesnt feel ungrounded to me anymore. Im all of these things... and Im sure theres more to me that I dont realize. But today i was realizing that for a while there, I felt like my lifestyle was too fluid... and there wasnt enough structure. Society does a good job at tricking you into thinking that. But what is the meaning of life? What are we supposed to be doing? Whatever brings us joy, truthfully. Even those who work the 9-5, they are doing so in order to have the means to experience bliss in their spare time. The trick is, no matter if you are a firefighter, a doctor, a dancer, a traveling salesman, an artist, a healer... no matter what you are, you should be devoting your life towards LIVING and creating situations and opportunities and connections that enrich your state of being, as well as the state of the community you are in. Trying to work at a job, or be somewhere until we can get to the point where we can be happy without struggle is the true death. Such a point does not exist. Ill be 25 in August... and there are goals and plans I have for myself, of course. There are many more places Id like to visit, people Id like to see, things Id like to try. But neither lifestyle, the structured, OR the fluid, is better than the other, and I see a lot of people trying to justify that one is superior. In my opinion, bliss is best supported when there is an organic blend of both left brained and right brained aspirations. There will come a day, more than likely when my sights set on having a family, where adopting more of a concrete nature will be in alignment with my highest joy. But that will only be because who I want to be and what I want to do will require those things... its still working under the same blueprint system of following your own truths vs following societys standards. No matter what you are doing, be awake, be aware, and for heavens sake be PRESENT and JOY-filled. Thats the secret.
Posted on: Wed, 02 Jul 2014 20:07:20 +0000
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