For the love of Gujaratis everywhere here are 34 things you need to learn to live with when you marry one! 1. Jai Shree Krishna – aka JSK! You gotta start and end everything with the holy one. Practice saying it. All the time. 2. Theplas are the reigning king of foods in this household! Muthiya, dhokla, pathra, khakra, jalebi, gaanthiya, and khandvi become part of your staple diet. Move over Chinese and Thai! 3. If you don’t learn the language your opinion is not valid. Su bole che? 4. You take drinks??? You take non-veg? Arre baap re! 5. Traveling to the US is incomplete without staying with at least 5 relatives in New Jersey. It feels just like home with all the bhai’s and ben’s who live just down the road. And if you ever feel lost, look up the phone book and dial any Shah in it, you might have hit a relative. 6. No party is complete without breaking out into a round of garba! Let’s hear it for the G-U-JJ-U’s . Take lessons, now! 7. Winter time always means its undiyon time. Summers are incomplete without aam ras, puri, dhokla and fajeto. This is followed by DESERTS (not desserts!) that are everything MANGO – mango fruit, mango milkshakes and mango ice cream. 8. What makes your Gujju man super-sweet is all the jaggery in their food! 9. Names like Tanisha, Anisha, Nisha become Tanisa, Anisa and Nisa! Kavita ben and Sushma ben is pronounced as Kavita bain and Sushma bain! So does that mean the Big Ben is pronounced as Big Bain? 10. Did you know the Shahs and Patels have a separate line at the American embassy? The Patel surname alone runs into multiple sheets of pages in the New Jersey Telephone Directory. 11. You have to learn not to let your jaw drop when you are introduced to family members who have names like Henal, Anal and Hardik. Poor unfortunate souls – (Im just sayin) what were their parents thinking. 12. When you travel internationally who needs to try out Michelin starred restaurants when theplas and khakras taste as good in ‘foreign’. 13. Gujjus might not like the bling factor but absolutely love bright colours like PEEENK and PURRR-PIL. 14. When they see a hot girl, when they love their food and when they enjoy a movie they’re generic response is SHU VAT CHE! 15. They can rattle off every vegetarian food place + menu + deals and discounts + happy hours in a jiffy. After all the first ALL VEG PIZZA-HUT was opened in Ahmedabad. 16. Motel in Texas? Yes, rest assured it’s owned by a Gujarati. Ditto convenience stores – 7/11s. Also, you will have at least one uncle-in-law running the stocks (staaccckkks, we mean!) 17. You can never get off the grid when you’re with a Gujarati boy, he’s always connected – to his uncle at 45th Main to his 10-year-old cousin at Lexington. Gujjus are ALL about family and their Baa a.k.a you grand mother-in-law to be. Ask Tulsi. The patron saint of all Gujarati daughter-in-laws everywhere. 18. All of the grocery uncles, chai wala, rickshaw wala and fruit walas are kakas. He is all about the endearment and love! 19. Sunburn and NH7 and Burning Man? Dance Festivals were given birth in Gujarat – thanks to Navratri. 20. His sister cannot go out with a boy, she cannot date a boy, she cannot even look at a boy. But she’s got permission to dance with a boy all night long during Navratri. 21. A hundred rupee shirt that you can buy at Rs 10. Bargaining is the one talent Gujaratis are proud of. Throw in the extra kari patta and one KG of ginger with it fellas! 22. The Gujju anthem – never spend any money that’s your own. Bingo! 23. Falguni Pathak can kick Rihanna any day. In terms of pure music. What a talent! 24. Chaas over beer. Chaas over cocktails. Chaas over whiskey. Chaas forever! 25. After every pani puri session, you will hear him say – ek aur puri and 20% discount! 26. Reliance is the reason why India is such a super power. Remember that. He lives to argue with people on a daily basis on which company ‘made’ India. 27. Dandiya is the Prom of india. And you can never match a Gujarati in dance – the man knows his moves thanks to dandiyan. 28. Goodbye ISB and IIM, a true blue Gujju does not need you. He knows how to do business like the back of his hand. 29. The term “Go Fly a Kite” has been invented by a Gujarati – all those kite festivals, you know. And he means well. 30. They can get you Whiskey / Rum / Beer in 2 seconds and what do you mean, Gujrat is a dry state? 31. Food & Family & Garba = Gujarati weddings 32. Baba and baby are nicknames for pretty much anyone from the ages of 5 to 45. And there is one in every family. Everyone is called that. Affectionately. 33. And if it’s awesome, it’s “First Claaaaasssss”! 34. You will live a really comfortable life after all supposedly, ten of the 25 richest Indians are Gujarati. Jay ho garvi Gujarat and all that… Here’s to all the ‘First Claaaaasssss’ Gujjus I know, I love you!
Posted on: Sun, 01 Jun 2014 15:42:31 +0000
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