For those who have followed my shares re my beautiful boy Danny....who ask WHY?.....I share the following....Dan was prompting his sister Christie Noordhoorn towards these lyrics.....his WAKE UP STORY.....at the very same time....I was writing... https://youtube/watch?v=5y_KJAg8bHI As I get more and more past the pain of losing my gorgeous boy....as I do what I know best to do....keep feeling my hurt emotions, in that process the debris and distraction is removed from the path and I find myself seeing clearer and clearer.....and the view is still uncomfortable to look at but the truth of it makes it easier to see. My boy knew he was lost, knew he had to wake up...it wrenches at my being to feel how he lost him....where I too have in the past lost me....and thus, he did, he yearned for his freedom, to fly again as he had before ... and now he flies. Higher than high, brighter than bright....brilliant light shining like a lighthouse into the seas of our days and nights!! DID CANCER take my son?....or did my son use cancer as the acceptable way to find his soul again?...somewhat LOST to the physical of his life....I asked very early on when he was unwell....before the diagnosis.....What is going on here?.....NO answer...until I noticed myself standing outside a shoe store.....in massive print on the window....confronting me with the truth...it did punch me in the guts big time “I LOVE SHOES, THEY MAKE ME HAPPY, CALL ME SUPERFICIAL, WHATEVER” .....and this is the long and short of it....he got lost in the superficiality of the physical, when who he was, was so so much more than that...he stopped feeling his hurts, he stopped listening to the feelings that were the window to his soul....he wasn’t crying his tears and his laughter was therefore less genuine than who he truly was.....the cancer gradually ate away at his body but as it did he was finding what truly mattered...LOVE....he spoke of his fortune as being surrounded by LOVE, he cherished that he had come home...those he loved who loved him with him all the way.....from a lost place before ~ to when he passed ~ as he was moving on ~ it was very clear....he had already FOUND him .....he went into the afterlife calm and peacefully already knowing what he came to earth to know. He is with the fullness of him now...he is flying...woken up. My son asked CANCER.....the terror of our times, and the Medical SYSTEM which cared not a jot for his well being and swallowed him up whole, snuffed out his life as he asked it to....he used this as an example...how we LOSE ourselves in a system we think cares for us, looks out for our well being when it simply doesn’t ... at all. My son was MAGICAL.....a BIG SPIRIT FULL of life..... life he savoured, life he blended and melded with, connected into and through.....he lived with extreme JOY able to notice and relish the tiniest things...see always the best in people...their SOUL....he knew what mattered and remembered it...all the important moments he logged away in his brilliant memory for what was truly special and treasured......there was a LOVE OF LIFE so profound it filtered through every part of his being......he had rhythm, he had flow, he had the power of observation and seeing deeply INTO what was authentically significant. My son was HUMAN.....and people gave him stuff, gifted him stuff, showered him with stuff....they SAW and FELT a MAGIC in him they were unable to fully comprehend but did feel that to GIVE to him was a privilege...an honour, a delight...., everyone had high expectations of him, meeting Dan for the first time was an AHA/WOW moment...so they did give...somehow this was an investment that paid huge dividends in ways they didn’t understand....every woman into whose life Dan stepped suddenly experienced liberty, freedom, good fortune....wonderful experiences...he would open you up to a BIGGER life with his BIG LOVE.....Dan got lost on the way....the magic began to dim about 15 years ago when threatened by a bully at school and the death knell fell on his shoulders, the light went out when his trust, faith and devotion was trampled on three years ago....rejected, thrown away, he lost touch with his core.....lost his way.....seduced by artificial physical beauty and wealth, talked into moving away from his family, home and friends....given promises and a path his ego desired but his soul rejected...his exit from life began then.....you could feel the spark in him dwindling....eking out....he wasn’t himself. Cancer was his way of emerging the wholeness of his spirit and allowing the physical attachments he had established as mattering to gradually fall away....his happiness faltering he propped it up with the material, the superficial and this wasn’t DANNY...he was never going to be able to sustain this existence for long....He knew it...he did not lift a finger to save his life...his goal was to save his spirit from further pain in losing its way by paying off his emotional debts and re-establishing a balanced account of his feelings. He did that by using his hurt/pain to expose his true self more and more to himself, to us who loved him so. He cracked open any walls surrounding his BIG HEART. Those of us left behind mourn and feel lost for what we have lost....not just in him but in ourselves......not often do you encounter in this often dismal, dark and mundane world a BRIGHT SPARK the likes of Dan...he left an indelible IMPRESSION on you..fire in his soul, warmth in his heart...passion for fun in the game of life and joy in his eyes...opportunities to express life’s glory just waiting to bust from his outstretched arms...we now have to find that within ourselves and not lose our souls to manifest reality...physical illusions and stuff...it’s all immaterial really to who we are and why we are here....Dan is this lesson, this was Dan’s life....his journey ....to get LOST and then WAKE UP...older and wiser in his soul....back HOME to his true SELF.
Posted on: Wed, 20 Aug 2014 01:58:26 +0000
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