For tough-guy Americans: Offer to make a movie on Enhanced Interrogation Techniques -- Since the Abu Ghraib and CIA torture scandals, millions of Americans have said, “That’s not torture!” They indignantly tripped over themselves, claiming what happened at Abu Ghraib, and what is described in the CIA torture report, is not actually torture. They say that our service members all go through this. (Any US service member who says he went through this in training is a liar.) And so the offer: Movie stars needed. American tough guys and tough gals who already have a demonstrable record of claiming that what happened at Abu Ghraib and what is described in the CIA torture report, is not torture. This will go beyond any reality television show. No tap out. No time limit. This could last for days, months, or longer. After signing the waiver, the program may start at anytime, possibly through kidnapping, without notice. Any materials found on the subjects may be used, including telephones, bank cards, computers, etcetera. No “torture” will be used. Only techniques from Abu Ghraib and the CIA torture report will be permissible. These may include separately or in combination: Water boarding, denial of toilet facilities, confinement in coffin-like conditions for long periods, cold and hot temperatures, electrical shocks, beatings, long periods of standing, stress positions, male or female rape, sleep deprivation for a week or longer, loud sounds or music, hooding, hanging from the ceiling, inadequate diet, rectal feedings, long periods of isolation. Any information gleaned from the subjects may be used against them during the enhanced interrogation. This includes all passwords to all accounts, computers, phones, safes, or other secure areas. Any previous criminal activity gleaned from the subjects may be televised or turned over to law enforcement for prosecution, or to employers. Likelihood of permanent physical or psychological injury is high. Likelihood of suffering PTSD is high -- and can be subject of follow-on film. Likelihood of death is reasonably low, but this will be more dangerous than parachuting or swimming with sharks. Applicants must undergo medical exam. Anyone accepted must undergo psychological testing by a licensed professional stating that he/she is of sound mind to enter into this agreement and waiver. Are you ready? No tap out. No time limit. (Satire…)
Posted on: Sun, 14 Dec 2014 03:44:27 +0000
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