Forty years ago today, Saturday 29 June 1974... They’re calling it the Swindle of the Century. A phony oil drilling company in Oklahoma has been accused of taking in $130 million and a lot of Americans, including celebrities Jack Benny, Liza Minnelli, Alan Alda, Buddy Hackett, Walter Matthau, Andy Williams, Jacqueline Bisset, Phyllis Diller, Tony Curtis, Jonathan Winters and Bob Dylan. The matter with America is a decline in religious convictions, family life, morality, respect for law and patriotism, according to former cabinet member and 1968 presidential candidate George Romney. Speaking at a Jaycees prayer breakfast in honor of Salt Lake mayor Jake Garn, Romney commended the courage of exiled Soviet writer Alexander Solzhenitsyn, who said that “the price of cowardice is the rise of evil.” Dissident Russian physicist Andrey Sakharov went on a hunger strike today to draw President Nixon’s attention to the plight of political prisoners in the Soviet Union. Nixon has been in the Soviet Union meeting with godfather... I mean, Communist Party chief Leonid Brezhnev. The State Supreme Court has struck down a law you didn’t even know existed prohibiting women from cutting men’s hair in the state of Utah. Not to split hairs, but some men insist they’ve had close shaves and gotten clipped by women for years. Even as citizens petition for a re-tress of grievances, the state legislature vows to root out any other silly laws on the books, which lawmakers will go over with a fine-toothed comb. (Note to self: Your puns are dyeing. Cut it out. Tint funny.) Farewell, Sgt. Carter. Actor Frank Sutton, who kept Gomer Pyle hopping in the U.S.M.C., is dead of a heart attack at 51. After Sutton’s body is lowered in the grave, a marine color guard will command the gravediggers to “Pi-i-le!” (Well, they should.) Speaking of piling, why not cram a dozen of your friends in Dad’s station wagon tonight for Chinese fire drills or dragging Main? Crank up the AM radio and sing along to “Come Monday” by Jimmy Buffett, “Workin’ at the Car Wash Blues” by the late Jim Croce, “Takin’ Care of Business” by Bachman Turner Overdrive, “La Grange” by ZZ Top, “Already Gone” by The Eagles, “Waterloo” by Abba, “Radar Love” by Golden Earring, the Beatles track “You Won’t See Me” by Anne Murray, “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number” by Steely Dan, “Haven’t Got Time for the Pain” by Carly Simon, “Annie’s Song” by John Denver, “Rock and Roll Heaven” by the Righteous Brothers, “The Air That I Breathe” by the Hollies, “Rock Me Baby” by George McRea, and “Rock the Boat” by the Hues Corporation to which you will sing (you know you will): “I’d like to know where you got the nose job...”
Posted on: Sun, 29 Jun 2014 22:42:44 +0000
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