Frank Cerabino Palm Beach Post Online The managers at the South Florida Water Management District are giving smart phones a bad name. They looked like a bunch of middle school kids waiting for the school bus last week as they played on their mobile devices. The problem is they weren’t waiting for a school bus. They were presiding over an advisory board meeting in which they were allegedly being very concerned about the water pollution created by the flushing of Lake Okeechobee’s algae-rich water into the St. Lucie Estuary. But instead of looking concerned, the water managers were blissfully tapping away on their phones, looking as if they were more interested in leveling up on Angry Birds than listening to the Audubon Society speaker who was addressing them in vain. The scene was captured by Stuart resident Kenny Hinkle Jr., who videotaped it and posted it on YouTube as a way to document just how tuned out the water managers were to the speaker in the room, and devoted to their mobile devices. This must stop. It’s important for the district’s leaders to at least put on a show that they are not there simply to serve the interests of the region’s main water polluters. In the future, they’re going to need to play with their phones in a more efficient manner. So in the interest of streamlining their time spent texting and playing on their phones at meetings, I have devised a series of abbreviations they can use while texting each other. These phrases, I imagine, will come in handy to them. And learning to use them will at least trim a few extra seconds off their screen time, thereby giving future environmentalist speakers the impression that they are being listened to: ASAP — As Soon As Potable AWHFY — Are We Having Fishkills Yet? AWOL — Anthony Weiner On Line? BFF — Best Friends of Fanjuls CYA — Cover Your Algae DAMHIKT — Don’t Ask Me How I Killed That DILLIGAS — Do I Look Like I Go Against Sugar? ETA — Estimated Time of Audubon FATM — Foaming At The Mounts FOAD — Fish Off And Died FWB — Farmers With Benefits GOTDPSTY — Get Off The Darn Phone, Somebody’s Taping You GTPOOH — Get The Phosphorous Out Of Here GYHOOYA — Get Your Head Out Of Your Android HBIC — Head Birder In Charge IDGAD — I Don’t Give A Dam IIABDFI — If It Ain’t Broke, Dump Fertilizer In ILUAAF — I Love You As A Figurehead INABIAPIS — It’s Not A Billboard, It’s A Public Information System IWFU — I Wanna Frack You LOL — Levee Over Level LMAO — Look More Attentive Occasionally MILF — Municipalities I’d Like to Flood NSFW — Not Safe For Wellington NTTAWWT — Not That There’s Anything Wrong With Toxins ODTAA — One Dam Thing After Another OMDBOW — Over My Dead Body of Water PLO — Peace, Love, Okeechobee ROTFLMAO — Reaching Out To Farmers; Leaving My Access Open TEOTWAWKI — The End Of The Water As We Know It TMI — Text My iPhone TTFN — Ta Ta Florida Nature WRALYIC — Who Resigned And Left You In Charge? WTF — Water’s Totally Funky WWJD — What Would Jeb Do? YMOWWF — Your Move On Words With Friends YOLO — Yucky Ole’ Lake Okeechobee
Posted on: Wed, 14 Aug 2013 20:05:29 +0000
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