Friday late afternoon is upon us. Yeah, I know I missed last week, but what the hell. You all are grownups. I’m sure you tried your best, without my directives, marching orders, suggestions, and/or flights of fancy. No excuses really, but I don’t really need them do I? So, the work week has sputtered to an end, just like that relationship you had with that cute classmate who sat 4 seats over from you in Econ 101, and as was the case then, you are damn glad you can move on with a somewhat clear conscience and only missing one all cotton blue and white striped button down shirt that you loaned out that morning when you were both late for class. I think I have been a little remiss in my explaining how these evenings are supposed to work. For those of you who are new, and for those of you who might have forgotten the drill, here it goes (there will a test later, have your #2 pencils ready, and please supply your own bluebooks). Bid your office a farewell; possibly a whispered “f@#% you” as you latch the door and head to the elevator; give the concierge a wave as you leave the lobby; a jaunty step and a bit of a sly smile as you head to your vehicle; tasty driving tunes set at volume 8.453241; stop and pick up a chilled roadie and since you are feeling a bit lucky, a quick-pick for tonight’s drawing; cut the bonehead drivers a bit of slack, they know not what they do; honk as you head up the drive; a pet for the animals, a smootch for your squeeze, and a “what’s happing?” for your kid(s) (obviously if you don’t have kids, or animals, or even a squeeze you might feel a little stupid if you follow this step fully. Please use your discretion. The test will take these matters and requisite modifications into consideration during grading.); head to your bar and get busy; ice bucket– check; ice for the bucket-check; liquor selection(s) made and bottle(s) set for pouring-check; necessary bar gear set out-check; fruit garnish ready to be sliced-check; coasters laid out-check; mixers at arm’s length-check; and the good crystal ready to be filled-check. You may now commence with your task(s) (by the way, one of my favorite sounds is that delightful clinking sound that ice cubes make against the crystal as the glass is being filled up. I think, when you hear that sound an angel gets its wings, or something like that). One for you and one for your squeeze, I assume you made those doubles. A taste for the angels, a toast to the evening to come, and all is well. Head to your hi-fi and put on some swinging tunes, shimmy on over to your squeeze for a smootch. Maybe a wink promising more for later, and head on over to the fireplace. Get it blazing, head to your bar for another round, sit next to your squeeze on the sofa, and know that you are starting the evening in the way it should be. Hors d’oeuvres? Why the hell not. Another round? Damn straight. Dinner? Eventually. What, you’re going out? Here’s the other drill, take your drink and head to your closet; select the correct wardrobe pieces for the evening at hand, taking into consideration the weather and the fact that as usual you will be looking marvelous; a bit of fragrance; check the mirror one more time; a compliment to your squeeze (as they are looking quite marvelous as well); confirm your destination (invitation(s) in your inside breast pocket or purse, and or reservations confirmed); pour a roadie; hey, your squeeze wants one as well; new bills in your clip; your squeeze gets the driving tune selection tonight (that is of course, as long as it isn’t that damn rap crap, or that “Shake It” song.); smootch at the stoplights; use the valet; enter like a boss; survey the room; firm handshakes and polite kisses (as always, this remains unsaid and assumed – use the manners your mother taught you); order like you know what you are doing; give a toast that brings a smile; tell some awesome stories; make a new friend; wink at a stranger like you know their secret; have dessert; tip well; drive safe; smootch at the stoplights; double cheese burgers and fries at the drive-thru; turn those tunes just a bit louder; a nightcap or two while relaxing and expounding on the night that just was; and all is fine. Done. Sorted. Pass your bluebooks forward and I’ll see you bright and early next class. Oh, and use those coasters, there worth 10 points extra credit. Until next week.
Posted on: Fri, 23 Jan 2015 23:46:16 +0000
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