Friends and fans: Its with a heavy heart that I announce this, and I know Facebook isnt the best place to do so, but here goes... ...I friggin hate iceberg lettuce! It is so bland and flavorless, that I feel like eating it is the same as working at a call center. Lifeless and boring. Just pull some weeds from my yard and throw them on my plate. Id bet there would be more flavor. I wish iceberg lettuce tasted bad actually, cause then I could say you know, that iceberg tastes like an old shoe insole... but theres no flavor! Theres nothing to hate! Its like being mad at Sri Lanka. They didnt do anything...but they didnt do anything spectacular either. Im upset at the complete lack of anything to like or hate about it! Every flavorless, wet crunch makes me feel like Im eating the movie The English Patient. Nothing happens and Im not sure what I just experienced. Iceberg Lettuce, youre not maddening or exciting, so I beg the question...WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE! Are you merely a vessel for delivering tasty dressings and bleu cheese crumbles? Or are you the sinister, quiet force behind mans misery, quietly laughing as our plates and bowls appear to be full of something appetizing, when the exact opposite is occurring? Touche, Iceberg Lettuce. Touche.
Posted on: Fri, 04 Jul 2014 00:07:02 +0000
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