Friends, family, and those who we may not know but are supporting Candace and me during this very difficult time: I want to start off and say how overwhelmed Candace and I feel with gratitude for all your prayers and support. I constantly thank God for all of you and that you have all been an instrument of Christ’s love in all you have done for us. I know only a limited of people have been able to visit due to our requests, but it is with a heavy heart when we have to ask people not to visit. We did not anticipate how busy we would be during this time. I cannot believe that it has already been a week since Jacob was born. A week ago I was frantically getting into a car with my father in-law and sister in-law to drive from Evergreen Hospital to Swedish Hospital, to leave my wife, to be with our new son. A week ago seems like such a lifetime, yet every moment is still so real in our minds. For those who are not aware, we were fully expecting a normal birth. In fact, Candace was moving along real well. To my silliness, I even anticipated us getting home Sunday morning to listen to the Seahawks play. During the delivery, Jacob’s heart rate was elevating, but the midwife didn’t seem to be overly concerned with it since his heart rate wasn’t dipping below normal levels. However, when Jacob finally came out, I will never forget the proceeding events. Jacob shot out like someone was shooting a pop gun. He was blue and completely lifeless. I wasn’t sure if that was normal since I’ve never experienced birth. I quickly learned there was something wrong when the midwife quickly took Jacob, cut the umbilical cord and handed him over to the nurses. Thirty seconds later the room was filled with NICU nurses. We never once heard Jacob cry. All what went through my mind was that Jacob was a still born. I was trying to maintain my composure as I heard other family members wailing in the background. Candace was calm and asking if Jacob was alive. I could only look at her and tell her I wasn’t sure. “I have a strong heart rate,” I heard one of the nurses say. This brought some relief as I knew Jacob was still alive. But concern continued to mount as he still didn’t cry. I was trying to maintain contact with Jacob hoping my touch might help. It seemed to be of no avail. I kept looking at Candace and couldn’t believe the composure she kept through the whole scene. I looked around the room and realized our midwife was going into shock. The doctor came in and started talking to Candace and me, of words that at the time I couldn’t comprehend, I just knew they were taking him up to the NICU. At this time, I started feeling ill and light headed. I started losing my hearing, and I knew I needed to sit down. I felt ashamed because I wanted to be the stable ground for my family, but I knew my body was going into shock. I sat down, and Jacob was taken to the NICU. I was not allowed to go until I felt better, so they let my mother go with Jacob. From there, most of you know the rest of the story as Evergreen decided to transport him to Swedish so he could have his brain cooled for 72 hours. We are now a week past the event, and he has undergone many tests. The MRI results showed some of the brain has been damaged due to the lack of oxygen. He has had a couple seizures, so they have him on medicine to contain them. Our prayer is that the next MRI will confound the wise and God will heal his brain so they cannot see any damage. Candace and I have seen positive results with Jacob. Every day he seems to be improving. However, they said they will not know the extent of any damage till he continues to wake up and to see how he reacts. The next two years are going to be crucial for Jacob, Candace, and I as we focus on giving him the necessary therapy to help him heal. The neurologist thinks Jacob has cerebral palsy. So we ask for continued prayer for Jacob that in the next couple years we can help him as we ought so he can have a life where he can play with his cousins and friends. As mentioned above, we also pray for a miracle and for his brain to be fully healed. However, I also want to take the time and let you know what Candace and I are being taught. Being in the NICU, you realize there are other parents and children going through the same struggles we are, just different stories. Each set of parents have put life on hold to take care of their child, and in some cases, taking care of their other children as well. We have been able to meet with other parents and listen to their stories. We have been able to celebrate in the victories each of our children have had, and been able to help cope with the defeats. Candace and I try to pray for all the babies and the parents in the NICU. We know their pain and the anxiety they feel. I’ve heard of some of your stories as well of having children in the NICU. It comforts us that this event has stirred the hearts of many of you, and I hope that those who still have suppressed hurt can take the time and discuss with God and your loved ones of that hurt. We all have a story that is unique to us, and we thank God for His all-consuming grace to comfort us through the hurt. I was reading my bible last Sunday with Candace, and during the reading, I felt God move my heart to consider this: that God would be glorified in our circumstance. That our attitudes, our feelings, our actions, our words, etc. would reflect the glory and grace of God. It is hard for us to consider others during our suffering, but Candace and I feel that is how God wants us to direct our minds. We are not the only ones in this situation, and we will not be the last ones. We can take comfort in the healing hand of God not only for our Jacob, but for every person He listens to who cries to Him. Thank you for allowing me to take the time to update you all of where we have been and what we are learning. We do ask for your prayers for God to continue to heal Jacob’s brain, for Candace and me to stay healthy, and for Candace to recover quickly from the birth. We just learned she has an infection, and we hope it doesn’t spread to other things. Again, thank you for your support, I wish I could take the time and thank everyone of you individually right now (when the time is right, I hope we can), but for now, thank you and may the God of peace, comfort, joy, and grace bless you all beyond your expectations.
Posted on: Sun, 04 Jan 2015 03:39:14 +0000
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