Fright Farm (Smithfield, PA): The second stop last Sun, the coldest night I can remember in years during the Halloween season, was western PAs own Fright Farm. A place Id been at 2 years prior, and was impressed enough with that I decided to make a return visit. To see this place from the highway is a sight to behold. It literally looks like Disneys Magic Kingdom from afar. I will go on record by saying that it is the coolest looking house Ive ever seen. Period. This place is not just a house however. It is a full blown multi-attraction featuring a hayride, a house, a trail, a maze, and a new extreme attraction that I knew nothing about. $25 for everything. Which isnt terrible, considering all thats included. We were greeted by a seemingly empty place when we rolled in around 9pm. We saw no one the entire walk from the ticket window to the entrance of the hayride. Strangely enough, this was the exact same situation as the last time I was here. Only we came on a Thursday in 2012 towards the end of October. We were met by a rather unfriendly guy at the gate that informed us that we had just missed the wagon, and that it would be another 15 minutes. Well this turned into 20 minutes of standing around freezing our asses off. A few groups showed up behind us in line during this time surprisingly enough. When at last we were allowed onto the hayride, which was one of those ones where your legs just dangle off the sides, I was frozen solid. I checked the temperature on my phone and it was reading 27 degrees. My hoodie was not doing the job. So I curled up and tried to conserve any residual body warmth that I could. This was going to be a rough rest of the night. I could tell. The hayride sat at a standstill for another 15 minutes or so. They apparently decided to wait for a full wagon. I swear Ive never been so cold before. And now I was starting to get pissed. I still had to drive 3 1/2 hours back east and get up for work the next morning. If I didnt perish from hypothermia that is... When at last the tractor started moving it seemed like a revelation. I didnt even care what happened next. I just wanted to get someplace warm. The hayride was very average with absolutely minimal actors. As we rolled along through the frigid night, we passed an old truck that beeped (seen that one a thousand times), a field of pumpkin-headed scarecrows where one was real (seen that one a thousand and one times), and the typical stop in a barn where a bunch of guys run around with chainsaws. Yawn. And then we saw the house in the distance. Absolutely amazing. This place is more like a gothic cathedral than a house. And the way they have it illuminated is just bad ass. As we stopped in front, an actress read us the rules, and swung open the castle doors. We quickly got ahead of the group and went in first. Right away, I could tell this place had upped its game from the last time Id been here. Everything just seemed bigger budget. The gothic hallways and corridors were draped in fog. Detailed sets, creepy lighting, and an eerie soundtrack accompanied us as we ventured further. This was exactly what I was hoping for. And they delivered big time. Turns out, this was only a lead up to the house. We were on an outside trail in a matter of minutes, winding our way around a highly detailed courtyard that featured a tar pit, a bog, and various walk-through shacks, crypts, and a mine shaft that were quite well-done. Their presentation this year was through the roof! By the time we got to the actual house, my expectations had sky-rocketed. The lead up here was immense. And fortunately, the house did not disappoint. The amazing level of quality continued as we passed through sloping rooms and up a really wild spiral staircase. There was a cool Dr. Frankenstein thing going on during this section of the attraction with a corpse lifted into the air on a stretcher which was cool. I remember there being a reaper or something here at that part two years ago. We passed through a creepy doll room, and a room with disturbing naked mannequins-which are creepy enough with clothes on... The seance room was really trippy. An actress sat at a table with a crystal ball that started glowing all different colors. All the furniture in the room started shaking in a really cool display of clever animatronics. Well done! We passed outside on an open deck balcony that was very classy. This place was even bigger than I remember it! There was even a crazy slide to go down towards the end, which I skid half way across the ground floor on my way out, I was going so fast. I was sad when we exited. What a fantastic house! Anyone that likes haunted houses and hasnt done this one needs to go here! Unfortunately, things went south from here. They had one of those stupid maze things here called Terror Maze. More like Annoying Pain In The Ass Maze. A bunch of pixie-looking actresses ran around making sounds pointing us in the wrong direction. Its 27 degrees out-probably even less by then. And were wandering aimlessly about in this stupid waste of time maze. I had the shits of this pretty quick. Luckily one of the actors recognized that I was getting agitated and pointed us in the right direction and we got out after not too long. We could have (should have) left at that point, but I just had to see what this Paranoia attraction was all about. We were blind-folded and told to hold onto a rope that was attache to the wall of a small building. Very quickly this surpassed the previous attraction in annoyance. Some dude grabbed me and started pushing me and spinning me around. I was having bad flashbacks of another PA house we had done a few days prior called The ScareHouse. This sort of stupid shit continued for the next several minutes until I couldnt find the damn rope on the wall. I groped about haplessly and started taking my blindfold off. Nope...leave it on some annoying girl yelled stuffing it back over my eyes. I had quite enough of this. Then that same annoying guy from the beginning came back over and spun me in a circle and violently shoved me through a door. When I took off the blindfold, I was back in that stupid pixie maze again. F*CK!!! I had no idea where my other group member was, and I had to walk back through this stupid thing again. By now I was exhausted and cold as hell. I just wanted to get out of there. Thank goodness no one messed with me as I retraced my steps out of the annoying maze from Hell. One of the actresses even lent me her hand warmer til I made it out. Apparently they messed with me a lot longer than my other group member. Lucky me! We ran back to the car but it was no use. My face was frozen solid and I could barely even talk. It took a good 15 minutes or so with the heat on to properly thaw my ass out. That was one cold night in western PA! Id take the snow in Indiana over this any day! So where does that leave this place? Well, PA has a new best house right here. Everything else, excluding the trail, I can take or leave. I wish I could give this place three and a half stars, but the other attractions here are just not strong enough. The house alone is easily that good though. My advice to Fright Farm. Ditch the maze and stupid extreme attraction, and beef up your hayride. The trail and house especially are the real attractions here! Not only does the house look amazing from the outside, its equally as elaborate and detailed on the inside! Lots of cool and clever special effects. The actors were good as well, but were secondary to the amazing props and scenery. Do yourself a favor and visit Fright Farm next year. The house and trail alone are worth the admission. But skip the last two bullshit attractions there. Luckily you have an option to do them. Trust me-youre not missing anything. Hauntfinder Rating: * * * (out of 4)
Posted on: Fri, 07 Nov 2014 03:19:05 +0000
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