From Alan: First, I want to say thank you to all of Carolines friends, co-workers and family. Your words, thoughts and blessings have been appreciated and welcomed. Now I want to be a little more selfish and tell my wife how much I still love her and need her. My soulmate has been taken far too early from this world. People say we should be thankful for the time we had, but I need more. We had so many plans and dreams for our future. She was going to be the best grandmother someday just like she was the best mother. Her daughters lives have been changed forever. I will never be able to fill her role in those special moments that only a mother understands. Our five year old will only remember her through pictures and movies. I keep thinking that this isnt happening and Caroline is still here. How could this have happened and why? Caroline and I always promised each other that divorce would never be an option because our daughters needed us, both of us. We never imagined that they would grow up with a single parent due to this?!? Now our five year old is laying in a hospital bed because a blood test came back with something abnormal. We all got tested after Caroline passed away to make sure we didnt have anything similar after returning from Mexico. Our family had a wonderful vacation and made some awesome memories. Now it is causing me to think was it worth it? What did we do wrong? I keep going from having a broken heart to the start of a thought that we will eventually be okay only to instantly get angry with myself for even partially entertaining such a horrible notion. Everything my daughters have ever known has been smashed into a billion pieces and the world will expect them and I to pick them up and put them back together. I have a sick and empty hole somewhere deep inside that will never be filled again. I cant look my beautiful daughters in the eye without thinking of everything I wont be able to give them without their mother. Caroline was the foundation of our family and we are lost. As I read back over my thoughts, they seem so simple and somehow dont award justice to anything I am trying to convey. I love Caroline with all of myself and the weight of two young girls futures are now mine to protect, support, mold, nurture and provide alone. Is it cowardly of me to want to take her place? I will forever miss you Caroline and I will forever love you. My wife, the absolute best mother, my best friend, my soulmate, my partner and my queen. One day we will meet again and I pray that I will make you as proud as you have always made me. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry.
Posted on: Sat, 16 Aug 2014 00:48:46 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015