From Berlin To New Mexico (Only Takes 45 Years!) by Sharon Golder Kulig, Ph.D. From the Berlin American High School graduating classes of 1962 and 1963, we rallied. Visiting in New Mexico were: 1) Kaye Stewart Crawford, (New Braunfels, Texas); 2) Ada Lopez, (San Juan, Puerto Rico), 3) Sherry Golder Kulig, (San Angelo, Texas) and (4) Maggie Ellithorpe MacPherson, (San Anselmo, California.) Mikel Fischer Brightman, (San Antonio, Texas) at the last moment could not attend our April 19,2008 mini reunion due to her mothers hospitalization. Were pleased to report that Mikels mother has since been dismissed from the hospital and is again doing well. Curry wurst and Margaritas In The Mountains We were in the New Mexico mountains, The Land of Enchantment, 7,000 feet above stress level We were concluding our first full day of visiting with each other after nearly half a century. Wedjust enjoyed that improbable but scrumptious culinary combination, Currywurst mil Margaritas. (Wishing to make this article as practical as possible for those planning similar mini reunions, let us say right here that when it comes to daring leadership in a kitchen, Kaye Stewart Crawford, BHS Class of 62, is your girl) BRATS and A Setting Zia Sun Outside the bedrooms bay window, the wind howled as a Zia sun set over Sierra Blanca. Snug inside (or inside The Snug-a house so-named due to the often prevailing winds,) several lounged on the floor like teens, absorbed by Maggies copy ofa DVD about Growing Up Military (We were in the bedroom because wed forgotten to borrow and bring along a ten year old to figure out the electronics ofthe living rooms surround sound TV. Again take heed, future mini reunion planners. Who knows how inspired our dancing around the kitchen island to sixties music might have become had we known how to centrally activate the house and deck speakers.) The DVD: Our Journey Home. The First Documentary About Growing Up Military* Even with the smaller screen we found contrasting our own military dependent experiences against the backdrop of Brats Our Journey Home to be fascinating. (We also find paraphrasing some of its statements in the paragraph statements that follow to be irresistible.) L Military Brats respect a sense of mission * Months ago we made, and on this very special weekendwe fulfilled, a commitment to one another to meet as a small group. The mission thus accomplished dusted off for us a tremendous sense of continuity (Welcome to the hotel California ... ). Our re-connecting proved so powerful that we think the friendships weve re-forgedare for life! The ease of acceptance and the rush of unconditional affection were immediate. (We responded to each other like favorite cousins. Thats a relaxed notch or two above sisters.) * The DVD BRATS: Our Journey Home (The First Documentary About Growing Up Military). Page 2. IL In military spheres, appearance is emphasized; you have to look well and do well all the time ... There will be a white gloves inspection ... ,* Although its been more than four decades, we probably could have identified each other in (heaven forefend) a line-up. (A line-up of grandmothers-what a concept!) We experienced and quickly accomrmdated to that very fun sensation of seeing in one anothers eyes and bone structure our exact selves as exuberant 17 and 18 year olds. An interesting devebpment was that after our trip, one of us e-mailed the others about how much younger she feh. (Thank you, we think ... ) IlL Careers: Achievement is emphasized in military homes where work is imbued with meaning .... Civilian life, (where its pretty much about money,,) can prove challenging. Daughters raised in military homes may have to labor particularly hard to discover where and how it is that they can make a mark in a patriarchal environment ... Since typically they wont become warriors; their options may appear restricted to being beautiful, dutiful, or invisible ... Its imperativefor a military kid to find out what youre good at and what you want to do for the rest of your life. * Our groups respective professional arenas are quite varied. Mikels achieved in the publishing :field. Ada is an enthusiastic translator who has particularly enjoyed working for corporations specializing in issues pertaining to Departments of Corrections. Kaye has just retired from teaching (merely) college level physics! Sharons a therapist in private practice and Maggie, our extreme sports specialist, has established a company thats guided many enthusiasts to the base camps of Mt. Everest, to Patagonia, and to New Zealand, for example. We feel our walks reflect positively on our common background (inclusive ofB.H.S.), on our families who grounded us when grades werent what they could have been, and on each other as early peers. (We do think that Kaye cudda shudda been doing a lot more tutoring of some of us in our high school sciences, however.) IV. :4rmy brats quickly befriend others .•. their friendships are rich and cut across cultures, race and age. * Immediately upon seeing each other we were jubilant. Our conversations became quickly and familiarly spirited. Wed decided before the trip to make our favorite things for dinners-mostly reservations-and stayed so busy each day sharing histories, extending support and laughing that (delighted to be eavesdropping, we suspect) servers everywhere had to return several times to coax us to even look at their menus. * The DVD BRATS: Our Journey Home (The Firs t Documentary About Growing Up Military). Page 3. V. Trust is very important to military kids. * All the honest exchanges revealed that were still very decidedly, individuals. However weve discovered that were now even more accepting of our newer differences. We tapped into so many topics that were important to us, becoming so engrossed in our Indy 500-paced conversations, that whenever one excused herse1f to go to the 100, shed make the rest promise, Now dont say anything else important until I get back. VL Military kids usually develop fabulous survival skills. They can be so extremely flexible and resilient. They tend to figure out pecking orders fast. They learn to rely on themselves. * That we, too, are resilient became evident in the discussions we had concerning the obstacles that inevitably appear with having to make tough decisions of all sorts. (We were very quick with the macht nichts and never did we waste a second on any Whos Who.) Three and a ha1f days together gave us plenty of time to review with one another all of the predictable milestone events- parental and spousal irguries and illnesses and their terrifically painful losses, our various loves (collectively weve been married for scores of years, give or take a decree or two,) children, childrens weddings, childrens children; our experiences with business opportunities and the professional wins that have COIre our way. (Corporate cool seemingly never hotly appealed to any of us. Did we ever behave like hell on heels,? Well, maybe but only a time or two when truly provoked.) Something else we leamed about each other is that we all are extremely detennined with regard to aging heahhfully. And perhaps the most intriguing aspect of all our marathon discussions is the unbounded enthusiasm we truly reel about lifes next chapters. (Achtung alumni matchmakers! Were encouraging applications from singles you know to be especially deserving of meeting our Ada-lets promote from within our BHS family!) VII. Scrappy Military Brats Tell it like it is (Id like to know how that made you feel as well as what you thought ... ) The quality of the corrnnunication exchanged throughout our time together was compelling and very real-deal. We saw that we were women with strong opinions. Proof that we werent afraid to voice them was an exchange that took place on our way to the Apache reservation the second day of our trip. Even though we know by now (at least we think we know) how to be politic, we felt that we didnt have to use that skill set with one another. So we got into discussing governmental affairs and polled one another as to how we pan to vote in the upcoming presidential election One was for Senator McCain; one said she was for Senator Clinton; one was for Senator Obama; and the last one of us admitted (when pressed) that actually shed already voted for Mr. Obama in a primary, but only because she hoped hed be the easier candidate for Senator McCain to overcome in the general e1ection. Maybe next trip we can really get into it about religion? (In anticipation of your next question, who says what on a trip stays on the trip, yada yada yada ... ) * The DVD BRATS: Our Journey Home (The First Documentary About Growing Up Military). Page 4. VU. Military kids get used to the hall of minors where everything reflects on Dad and his efficiency ratings ... * OlE visit was very instructive. FOlE decades down the line, and were still learning things about the lives we led as families living in the most exciting city in Germany. We appreciated together the complicated bonds we shared with OlE extremely busy fathers in Berlin. And we spoke frequently of their wives and career facilitators, our mothers and role models. Adding climbing the professional ladder to the conversational mix (i,e, the stuff of which sixties marching anthems for professional women were made) was inevitable (although, sadly, it resuhed in OlE frustrating yet one more waiter--his female colleague having given up awaiting our hmch orders at The Lodge in Cloudcroft, N.M.) VUI. Military kids are great at reading people. Their greatest tragedy though is that they do not come to know each other on a sustained basis. They can say goodbye and never look back ... never even blink ... * In closing wed like to assert that certainly OlE little group has had enough to last several civilian lifetimes of saying goodbye to people we love. We may have been thrown together in high school; however, were courting the idea, now, of a sustained and formal commitment to stay in each others lives as a group of friends who care and will regularly share about what were doing and experiencing. We cant wait to see how we will want to do this. Certainly right now we dont know what form our hanging-out or hanging- in- there together is going to take. Same time next year? Maybe. After aD, OlE group dynamic was simply incredib le and the only thing we had to do to experience and enjoy each other this time was to just show up. New Mexico, Texas, Califurnia, Puerto Rico, the base camps of Everest, wherever! (Well, maybe the base camps of Everest bear a little more thinking=-) As people who grew up traveling, we dont think were going to get too agitated about the where as we all appreciate that sharing, if even from a distance, can only lend texture and additional perspective to what we have to offer to one another. * The DVD BRATS: Our Journey Home (The First Documentary About Growing Up Military). Page 5. X. Many military kids evidence complete confidence in their abilities to accomplish things. There is nothing that they cant make-work. Theyre sturdy, strong and durable. * Whatever the level of dedication required, were up to it. We are going to really know, care about and appreciate each other. We are going to remain on familiar and respectful terms with one anothers faiths, passions, pursuits and life circumstances. We are going to lift one another up and appreciate all that we share in the most positive ways, keeping our hearts wide open, our bodies fit (and those neurons tuned!) And were going to know about and keep in our prayers one anothers oh-so-special fiunilies--A pretty important consideration given the antics of some of our grandchildren (and their grandfathers!) Epilogue Its been six extremely busy weeks since our get-together in Ruidoso, N.M. The e-mails, invitations, and phone calls are flying and our snail mail exchange of books, ideas, and pictures is similarly alive and well, Were virtually giggling, encouraging, congratu1ating and learning. Were part of each others lives again (fortunately in an era of well paid-up-in-advance Internet and cell phones!) Were kin in addition to kin, you know? Were Military brats! With all our hearts wed like to thank Jim Branson. Without Jim- Our tale would never have been lived and treasured ever after. Reference * TheDVD BRATS: Our Journey Home (The First Documentary About Growing Up Military).
Posted on: Tue, 18 Nov 2014 23:15:19 +0000
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