From John Stewart, Canadian Piper, and yarn spinner enthusiast........ Did a funeral today, and they put me in the garage to tune up. Half way through tuning up, the door beside me opens, and a hearse starts backing in. I continue playing while moving out of the way. The ice build up created quite a bump at the entrance, and the driver had to get a bit of a run at it. Hearse hits the bump, the back door pops open, and a casket falls out, literally 2 feet from me. BOOM!!! I stop playing and stare in awe. The casket got some momentum, and continued to bounce, end over end towards me. I FREAK out, and start running, more scared than I have ever been in my life. All I can hear is the BOOM, BRASH, BOOM of this thing rolling towards me. Im so scared I cant think or speak....I just keep running. I see a door and I figure if I can just get to it, and slam it behind me, itll stop the casket. I make it through the door, my heart pounding. It comes crashing through the door, not even a hint of slowing down. I scream, and start running again....down this hallway of the funeral home....scared beyond belief. At the end of the hall, I see another door with Employee Restroom above it. I figure, theres no way this casket can keep going through TWO doors. I make it into the restroom.....the casket still in hot pursuit. By now Im silently begging God to make this nightmare end. BOOM! The casket comes flying through the door again. I am now in tears Im so scared. Theres no where left to run. Im up against the sink, my heart about to explode from fear. Im so scared, I cant think straight. I start throwing things towards the oncoming casket.......a glass.......a bar of soap....a roll of paper towel......everything on the counter is being hurled at the thing. Theres a bottle of cough syrup...the last thing on the counter. I throw it. Hard. Would you believe it? The coffin stopped.
Posted on: Tue, 28 Jan 2014 05:00:19 +0000
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