From Melissa Loudermilk: With only a few days remaining until Thanksgiving, I am taking time to reflect and as I do so, I have noticed some things. I notice how most stores right now are dressed at their holiday best for Christmas and have been decorated in such since the beginning of November. I have noticed the Black-Friday ads bombarding my conscious and subconscious mind, informing me of what I need to truly be happy this year for Christmas – telling me of the areas of my world I am lacking – the items I should not have to live without. I also noticed a trend on social media avenues taking this month to tell their friends, and subsequent “world”, what they are thankful for each and every day until November 30. I am noticing a ramping up of planning for vacations, groaning at impending family gatherings, complaining about excess calories beckoning us to enjoy their “real” butter-infused flavors and sweets flavored with actual sugar. I have also noticed how much I have been struggling in my own walk as a child of God. I’m not struggling with my relationship with God, per se, I’m struggling with my constant thoughts of myself: the negative self-image I have fought against since I was in the seventh grade. I wonder if they are related? Let me think. Right after school started and the nation was focused on preparing their students to be as successful as possible this year, they began to have jack-o-lantern buckets, witches, and ghost paraphernalia a mere two weeks later, if that! They stayed on the shelves until November 1, when the Christmas decorations (which had been on display a week before) were given their prime locations. reminding each and every customer of the importance of purchasing gifts for their family and friends. Where did Thanksgiving as a celebration go? We have gone from teaching children about the Pilgrims starving and Native Americans helping to little more than stuffing our faces with families, to seeing Thanksgiving as mere preparation and fuel for marathon Black-Friday sales. When we cease to be thankful, we actually are ceasing to remember. We forget lessons learned, we forget the victories we have gained. We have bought into the lie that our lives can be bought, that our dreams are merely attainable by money, by changing who we are, by making it all about what we want, when we want it and nothing is further from the truth. We believe utopia is just one more car, one more surgery, one more vacation, one more “whatever” away. We have forgotten how to be thankful for what we currently have. I have bought into that lie as well. I have believed if I wore a particular size, my stomach looked a particular way, if I could just be “like” that woman on the billboard, or what the billboard wants me to believe she actually looks like, I would be happy. If I could only kill myself in the gym ten times a week, limit my caloric intake to less than 1200 a day, drink enough water to swim in, then I would be happy, thankful, live in confidence. I couldn’t be more wrong. The truth is, I am miserable because I don’t see my worth in God’s eyes, I only judge my worth by what the world tells me is my standard. Therefore, I have forgotten my identity, forgotten to be thankful, and forgotten to remember. I have forgotten how I lost nearly one hundred pounds and now I can walk/hike for many miles without collapsing. I have forgotten how after my two cancer surgeries, I have not only regained my upper body strength, but surpassed it. I have forgotten how wonderful it is to be held by my husband after 29 years of thinking no one would ever take a chance on me. I have forgotten how rewarding it is to hug someone who has a crushed spirit. I have forgotten what it feels like to worship with my hands held high, when not too long ago I couldn’t lift my left arm at all. I have forgotten…and I have forgotten to be thankful. So, this year I am going to be thankful for my struggle against self-worth. I will be thankful that my arms can lift around my family members and hold them tight. I will dance with my daughters and communicate how they are fearfully and wonderfully made. I will stare back at that magazine cover and say “I am dearly loved and am choosing to rest in that.” I will focus on my victories, my blessings, and the love being poured upon me. I will listen to my Heavenly Father, alone, and find my worth in Him…and have a small cookie.
Posted on: Fri, 22 Nov 2013 01:45:48 +0000
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