From The Chronicle of the Horse What trainers say: “I think you have potential” What they are thinking:Somewhere else. Not in this sport. Ever. WTS: “This horse is a bit green for you” WTAT:You’re going to need private lessons for the next 50 years. WTS: “Don’t worry about that combination at the end of the course” WTAT: …you’ll have used up all your refusals long before you get there. “You’ll need extra leg in the first line” …Because when he gets an eyeful of that second fence, you’re screwed. “That wasn’t too bad for your first round.” Unless the next six riders fall off, don’t hang around for the jog “That was a good solid schooling round.” Too bad this is your Stake class. “You’re doing very clean lead changes now.” Yep, all five of them you did down the outside line right in front of the judge were textbook. “You’ll be fine.” Clean up on aisle six. “It’s alright, everybody has days like this” We can never come back here. “Your horse really took care of you.” You should be dead. “Don’t worry, it’ll get better tomorrow.” You couldn’t possibly ride any worse than you did today. “Let’s enter a warm-up class.” We’re banned from the schooling area. “Just relax and have fun.” That’s the best you can hope to achieve “I think your horse will be very useful.” I hope I like him. Cuz I sure won’t be able to sell him. “Remember what we worked on at home.” Try not to ride like you usually do. “I might need to school him a bit.” It’s going to take me three months to undo what you just did. “That was really a challenging course.” I hope nobody saw that. “I’m not sure this horse will take you where you want to go.” Unless where you want to go is the emergency room. “What a shame you had that last rail down.” Realistically, though, you would never have survived the jump-off. “Go over there and stand in the shade until it’s your turn to go.” Let’s pretend we don’t know each other. “I sure like the way you jumped that first fence.” Particularly since it’s the only one you actually got over. “We don’t need to rush him. Let’s just take it slow.” Thank God I get paid by the hour. “Under different circumstances you would have gotten a ribbon.” Like, if nobody else had showed up for the class. “I think you could use a break.” I think I could use a vacation. “Let’s try it again later.” I give up. “I need a drink.” I need a drink.
Posted on: Mon, 02 Jun 2014 05:23:13 +0000
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