From his point of view: Written by my husband, Brandon a couple of years ago while he was deployed. -Sam Seems I always have a topic when I write on here, so here is my topic for today: Money. This is the leading cause of divorce in the United States every year. I am sure every one of us can vouch for the fact that it puts even more pressure on a relationship when one of you is deployed. (I am going to say she for the one at home and he for the one deployed simply because that is my situation, of course lots of women are deployed too! Thank you for your service my sisters in arms!) She is at home and he sees the money just draining from the bank and doesnt know why. He sees charges at fast food joints, and clothing stores, most of all, Wal-Mart. he sees hundreds of dollars going to wal-mart and he gives you the third degree about it. I know this because Ive done it to Sam, and still do sometimes. He is deployed, and she sees the money draining from the bank and doesnt know why so much is being spent. How could he be spending THAT much while deployed? And what are those charges? She doesnt even know what they are from because the names on the charges look foreign. She cant even read it. Once again, I will use Sam and I as an example. (Hope you dont get mad honey!) As a 1st Lieutenant I make a pretty decent amount of money each month. But for some reason we have a seriously hard time saving much. Granted we have tons of bills, and some debt we pay off each month. Me: Why in the hell is there only X.00 in the bank? Sam: Honey, I paid all the bills, got diapers, wipes, formula, groceries. Would you like me to start sending your recipets SIRE? Me: Samantha Rae, I just am trying to understand how the hell you spend $700.00 a month at wal mart. Sam: Well, lets see. We have 2 boys in diapers, one on formula which is $25.00 a can, who is also now on baby food which is .70 a jar, and he eats three jars a day. Wipes are about 14.00 a box, and I usually have to get 2 boxes a month. Then I also get all groceries from wal-mart. Then I get any clothes the kids need, and toiletries. I will start sending you reciepts if youd like!!!!! When you get home, you get to take over all shopping. Then you will see that Im not just going out here blowing money! Me: (After realizing shes probably made a good point) Ok, look. Just make sure you are doing all you can to save as much as you can. When I get home we will not be making nearly as much, and we have to be able to sustain. Sam: I just wish you realized how it feels when I already am trying to save save save but it never feels like its enough for you. Every time you look at the bank I get the third degree from you, and you treat me like a child. I am not a child, and i promise i am tying my best to spend wisely. This isnt where our conversation ended, but we made up and Ill spare you that. ;) My point is, neither of you know whats REALLY going on at home with how much things cost. And that can be scary. You have to have faith and trust in your partner that they are doing the right thing. Now if you see hundreds of dollars getting spend at stupid ridiculous places, and you are knowingly on a budget, its time to sit down (At the computer lol) and have a talk. Talk about your concerns, and try to get your point across without sounding like you are harping (this goes for both sides). Express that you will try to do better at saving if they will. Express that if you dont spend carefully you could end up with nothing when he returns home, and then you will be back to square one. Remember... Money is the leading cause of divorce in America. So communicate openly, keep on a budget that fits your income, and trust. Just my 2 cents. I love you Sam! -Brandon
Posted on: Mon, 28 Jul 2014 12:23:55 +0000
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