From my inbox... Hey Jason, just touching bases. Today is my 5 year anniversary of being released from prison. Surely a day of reflection and humble recognition of all who made it possible. I was ordained this past week and I just wrote my 200th devotional for Strong Tower Ministry. I am including it in this e-mail. I love you brother and all of you are continually in my prayers! Thank you!!!!! Heaven Is Open To You John 1:9 I John, your brother and partaker with you in the tribulation and kingdom and patience which are in Jesus, was in the isle of Patmos, for the word of God and the testimony of Jesus. Ezekiel 1:1 Now it came to pass in the thirtieth year, in the fourth month, in the fifth day of the month, I was among the captives by the river Chebar, that the heavens were opened, and I saw visions of God. I was at work on the new tower of St Mary’s Hospital when the phone rang telling me that my mother had just passed away. I hid myself between the ceiling and the next floor in a crawl space and there in the quiet I wept until my tears were believed to be a leak in the ceiling. Barely out of prison less then two months my heart ached as I had so wanted my mother to see her son free, not just from being incarcerated, but truly free from a life of torment and suffering. My parents had moved back to Washington State and because I was on parole the good State of Colorado would not let me attend the funeral. There are moments in our lives that leave such an impression on us that we never forget, where we were at, who we were with, and what we felt like when the moment occurred. The rest of our lives we never forget because we know intuitively that we can never go back and that our course has forever been altered from where we thought our lives would ultimately end. In our wildest imaginations we never saw the hardships of bankruptcy, addiction, divorce, infidelity, imprisonment, death, homelessness or losing a career coming our way. Somehow we muddle along witnessing the hardships of others and in our innocent hopes we secretly believe that we have become exempt from the gut wrenching trials that touch everyone’s life at some point. I can tell you I have witnessed first hand all the things I just mentioned and to my utter regret I held a secret grudge against God for taking my kids and my wife from me. I wandered for years in a pseudo relationship with Christ, knowing the Word of God and continuing to read it but deep in my soul I resented God because, after all, He is responsible for all the sufferings in this world………right? No matter if it is our sinful choices or someone else’s, God should be charged with all evil while evil is left in a state of absolute rebellion and as far as most of us are concerned, God Himself is sentenced for a crime He did not commit. As I look back on my life and the lunacy that went with this kind of thinking I can see so much more then I did……..then. Instead of a vengeful God playing the Master Puppeteer whose job it was to oppress me for my crimes committed against Him, instead I see a LOVING CREATOR who has measured out to me sublime encounters that have equaled or surpassed every hardship He ever saw me endure. Like the Prophet Ezekiel, or the Apostle John, both who were captives, God has doled out to me in abundance revelations and life experiences that, at times, seem to be surreal. He has restored me to my kids and to my wife. The calling of Heaven has been restored to me a thousand fold and I am surrounded by the very community that I was once kept from being a part of. For every low there has been a high that is so sweet that I can now see the glory of Heaven and the hope I have cannot be shaken by this world! Do I look forward to more suffering? Well heavens NO! But I do have a proper perspective of it and what I know is that whatever God ask’ us to go through because we live in a fallen world, He will either compensate us with unimaginable blessings on this side of eternity or on the shores of forever. For every action there is an equal or opposite reaction. In the depths we may suffer but it is only because God intends us to see moments that FAR OUTWEIGH our pain if we would just surrender and let the Cross of Christ bring the healing that He died to appropriate in our lives, how sweet the cup of heartache would be if we drank from it in hope. How about praying in our times of trial and saying to God; “Lord, I want to be overwhelmed by your glory, even in my pain.” He is faithful and His eyes go to and fro in the earth just looking for someone, anyone who has a heart of faith and loyalty. Nothing we ever go through is in vain! It is all intended for our good and His glory! The heavens will open up to us individually and collectively if we arm ourselves with the truth and if we hope, no matter the depth of our tears. One day the heavens will open up to me and when I see Christ standing at the Right Hand of Glory, there I will see my momma standing with Him and into both their arms I will run! Who else can deliver such a promise as this? Quote of the day: I know not; but God does, how he was caught up into Heaven, and heard unspeakable words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter. On behalf of such a one I will glory, but on my own behalf I will not glory, except in weaknesses. Paul, The Apostle vimeo/93308104
Posted on: Thu, 25 Sep 2014 14:37:43 +0000
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