From my new book Permission to Mourn: A New Way to Do Grief 19. Creating a Space for Hope I remember that Thanksgiving of 1990. Our first. After the death just four months earlier of our 18-month-old daughter Erin. Our hearts were broken. Open. Our life had been shattered. I did not know how we would survive or why we would even try. The pain was so intense there were times I could hardly breathe. I know you know that feeling. My wife Trici and I had made the conscious decision to defy conventional wisdom that suggests no big changes for that first year. Instead we followed our intuition which reminded us over and over and over again that we loved being a family. So early on we set the intention to have another child. And it was that first Thanksgiving morning the one four months after Erins death that Trici found out she was pregnant. That we were pregnant as she always said. And that morning at Old St. Pat’s Thanksgiving Day Mass as we turned to our beloved daycare provider Marilyn and her son Aaron to share our news I felt a bit of hopeful joy bubbling up from my core mixed in with the sadness and confusion and anger and despair and bewilderment and all the other feelings and emotions that are expressions of grief. I felt a bit of hopeful joy. And I realized that it doesnt have to be an either-or situation. One feeling can sit right beside another feeling. It doesnt have to be all or nothing. Make sure you set the intention make the decision to create a space for hope for possibility for peace for relief for gratitude and yes even for a bit of joy. Make sure you keep that door open even the tiniest bit. It does not have to be all or nothing. One feeling can sit right beside another feeling. You can create a space for hope. There is a new way to do grief a way centered on hope and possibility and life. I write about it in my new book Permission to Mourn: A New Way to Do Grief available today in paperback and eBook on amazon
Posted on: Wed, 26 Nov 2014 12:55:43 +0000
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