From the hunt sab handbook- 1. Hunt monitors are a step up from sabs. They get to wear normal clothes and hide their faces behind camcorders. 2. All Hunt Monitors have been Officially Approved and Appointed. By themselves. 3. Camcorder to be kept on all the time. The bits that make monitors look fools can be edited out later. 4. Monitors have Very Posh Voices. That way some shaky clips of a few hounds milling about can be dramatized by exclamations of A Kill, Definitely a Kill. (All join in - adds conviction) 5. If the hunt is on the road its causing a Dangerous Obstruction. If on a field, Trespassing. Simples. 6. If the Hunt is moving ahead quickly, Monitors should exclaim loudly theres a fox down there etc, Shaky pursuit footage looks brilliant on you-tube later. See point 4. 7. Monitors are very, very unsteady on their feet and fall over if a horse gets anywhere near them. To Posh Shrieks of Ive been Assaulted See point 3. 8. If sabs are provoking the terriermen, Monitors should approach shortly afterwards and make some inane comment. They will be sure to say f*** off. Sorted - see point 3. 9. Monitors know that any random scrape in the ground is in actual fact A Badger Sett. All join in Its a Badger Sett, Definitely a Badger Sett. 10. Anything dead monitors find will have been Savaged by Hounds. A week old shot fox is a brilliant find. Nothing for it but to dial 999 and get some agonised Screams of Dismay and Horror on the camcorder. See points 3 and 4.
Posted on: Fri, 21 Nov 2014 09:21:31 +0000
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