Fundamental Law of Physcs About 45 years ago, when I wore a younger man’s clothes. I was working and living In Minneapolis (and for those who live in the South, note the spelling is exactly the same as the pronunciation and despite what you may have learned, it is NOT pronounced “Minnie-AND-apolis. There is, however, a place east of Mpls in the state of Indiana where they have a city famous for its annual automobile race for which hundreds of thousands converge hoping to see an automobile travelling at just under the speed of sound go out of control, flip end over end engulfed in flames, flinging fiery tires, doors and other pieces of debris into the spectators who are incinerated on the spot. That place is pronounced “Indian-ap-olis” which probably is the reason so many people make the mistake, particularly if they think people who live in Shreveport are “Yankees,” Little Rock is the “Frozen Nawth” and that St. Louis is part of Canada. This story in not about the car place, it is about Minneapolis. Mpls is/was a wonderful place to live if you are interested in water related sports. Its state motto is “Land of 10,000 lakes.” The motto was adopted long before humans could fly airplanes or before satellite imagery. Since those views are now available, it has been discovered that there are probably 10,000 lakes just within the county of which Mpls is the county seat, but I’m not going to name the county because so doing will only add to the confusion. In Minnesota, St. Paul is the Capital, and it lies just across the Mississippi River from Mpls. (Pronunciation note: Despite what you grew up hearing and believing, both the state and the river are named the same, and the correct pronunciation is NOT “Mis-sippi” But I digress. If you enjoy water sports in Mpls, you have to limit yourself to enjoying them for maybe 50 or 60 days if you intend to actually go into the water and not get hypothermia. One of the sports that I enjoyed, along with many of my friends was kayaking. Our favorite spot was the Boundary Waters the separate Canada and the Hew Hess Hay. You have to plan that in advance, and be ready to go at the drop of hat if the weather in that area has been 100 degrees or more for a week or two, otherwise it is not safe. Much to my surprise, I received a phone call from my best friend Wes telling he was going kayaking and asked me if would like to join him. My first response was, “When?” He said “Next weekend.” A quick look at my calendar revealed the next weekend was going to be the 8th and 9th of July. I asked him, “Wes, are you nuts?” That water doesnt even have the ice completely out of it yet. If you don’t hit some submerged ice and tear your kayak apart the wind off that water will freeze you to death.” He allowed as how he would watch carefully for ice and was dressing up warm. I couldnt convince him to reconsider and he made the journey. Late Sunday night I received a phone call saying Wes was dead. The details were sketchy, but it appears the weather was a factor. A cold front came through and the temps dropped dramatically and his winner clothing wasnt sufficient enough to keep him warm. It appears that Wes had anticipated that and had taken along a small hibachi that he filled with charcoal and burned in the kayak to try to keep warm. It appears the burning charcoal spilled into the kayak, and before he could extinguish them the damage was irreparable, and the kayak sank. I was asked to speak at his wake, and used up all the nice things I could think of to say about him, true or not. Even though I had run out of words, there was still time left, and I was looking out at a couple of hundred faces expecting more from me. Finally I said, “Wes lost his life proving one of the oldest and most fundamental laws of physics. You can’t heat your kayak and keep it too.”
Posted on: Wed, 16 Jul 2014 03:17:10 +0000