GROW WITH ME PT 5: Stop being hard on yourself. Theres a misconception that being hard on ourselves pushes us to the limits and helps us grow. We dont realize that its that mentality that actually impedes the very growth we are trying to accomplish. We think we are PUSHING ourselves to greatness when, really, we are PULLING ourselves against our will. Its like nurturing a plant- rather than watering it little by little every day until it blossoms, we are dousing it with a bucket of water and stretching the branches hoping we can will it to bloom. Tell me if this sounds familiar: how often have you chastised yourself for being lazy? You get angry and say you dont have discipline. Then you wallow in that feeling hating yourself and you compare yourself to those who are more driven. You wish you had that same drive and gusto. But the truth is, that isnt laziness. You arent lacking in discipline. Thats just what it looks like on the surface. In turn, it makes you question yourself and your passion until you convinced yourself that maybe you arent as passionate as you thought you were. And when THAT thought creeps in, it isnt too long until you quit completely. You do a u-turn and find a different passion elsewhere. And the cycle continues. Instead try this: tell yourself that that isnt laziness. Remind yourself your discipline is just fine. Then admit to yourself that the real problem is youre afraid. Yup. Youre afraid. You may rebel. Your ego might say youre fearless and you have nothing to be afraid of. But you do. Youre afraid whatever you do wont be good enough. And if its not good enough, then how can you expect to grow? If you dont elevate your game youll be stuck in this mediocrity forever. Youve been doing this (whatever it is) for awhile now and now that you have some experience under your belt, you have to be doing better. So youre afraid what you create wont meet the new expectations you have on yourself. Its like being in a relationship after awhile. When the original passion wears off, you start expecting more and when you and your significant other doesnt meet those new expectations you start to question your commitment. But just like that plant, growth comes in just doing. You can try a bunch of different things to make it grow- new soil, new pot...hell, you might even try watering it with milk (dont judge me. I was 6 and the milk commercial said its good for growth) but at the end of the day, the plant cant grow without something as simple as water. Water. Thats it. So simple and not needing dramatic application. It doesnt require a lot of thinking or perfectly timed feeding. You just wake up, feed the plant every day, and let it do its thing. So goes with you. In fact thats why I write these. Its just as much for me as it is for you. These posts arent Nobel prize worthy or the best Ive ever written. But what it does is it allows me to conquer my fears every day. I can write without expectation or publication. I do it to exorcise the demons that says I cant write. And once I get it out, I can go into my bigger projects with more confidence. Plus it helps alleviate that feeling of being lazy. And whats great is I look back at all these and I actually amaze myself how much I actually learned! So if you want growth, just water yourself little by little every day. Dont rush it thinking you have to catch up because that causes stress and pressure which leads to thinking youre lazy which leads to a year going by and youre still stuck in the same place. Instead take your time. Ease yourself into the routine. Water that inner artist in you little by little and youll be surprised how much you will have grown a year from now without even realizing it.
Posted on: Sat, 19 Apr 2014 17:54:33 +0000
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