Gahhhhhh Anxiety is constant lately 24-7, but consumes me at night. Tick tock, tick tock, how did it get to be 2am? Fear sits like a rock in my stomach and Its a battle to fight off the crushing feeling, as if its arms are wrapped around my ribs and ever tightening. 6 days... It whispers, youll never make it, youre broke, blown off, why are you even trying? Anxiety really is a jerk, and sucks at cuddling. Yea, I have so much to finish doing before this move, push for once Im there, and a Great deal more to fundraise. My heart is torn with asking for help, or just trudging through on my own. Thoughts spin around my mind, what ifs echo back and panic sets in. I mean, Im moving across the US for the 3rd time, alone, no income, old truck, leaving friends and an amazing church, my twin, my dog, ( this sounds like a country song...) and doing this for what? ONLY one of the most perfect chances in my lifetime. It WILL and IS worth every bit of pressure, stress, fear and anxiety. Who gets that? So I fight it, I best nightly, its nothing I can describe to those who havent faced it themselves. I overcome it with Faith and prayer, a sword and shield to defeat a dragon, and rest comes. I have support from random places, and the craziest dreams to write into existence. Whos in? Theres a treasure map hidden somewhere and Im going to find it. Im halfway there. I mean, I found the compass ;) Ps- I currently have white and purple hair, and Im totally ok with that.
Posted on: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 07:06:21 +0000
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