Gather round and get comfy folks...its story time. I was a competitive swimmer throughout my youth...On the varsity team in high school. I was decent. Not awesome...but decent. I was one of the only people willing and able to do butterfly. My form was great and I never drowned...so there ya go. In my freshman year, I was swimming the 100m butterfly in an end of season, regional competition. I was very nervous and I hadnt paced myself very well. I ended up going pedal to the metal from the moment I hit the water. I felt like I was dying by the time I got to my last lap. About 10 meters before I finished, I totally choked (the figurative kind...not the literal) and let my legs do a breast stroke kick. As a result, I lost my momentum and my feet dropped and touched the bottom of the pool. I was disqualified. I dragged myself out of the water, uttered a curse (for which is was disqualified AGAIN), and collapsed on the pool deck. I had been in 4th place. Flash forward to my sophomore year and the start of the swimming season: I was again on the roster for the 100m butterfly. I did butterfly over and over in practice. Had no trouble doing 100m in the low pressure environment of our practice pool. Then, at the first meet of the season, I again choked on the last 10 meters of my last lap. This time, I hit the lane line with my hand a didnt let go fast enough. Disqualified. 2nd meet of the year...same thing. Disqualified. I got disqualified for EVERY SINGLE MEET OF THE SEASON. I asked Coach why he kept putting me in...and he said Im going to keep putting you in this event until you finish it. His logic was lost on me at the time. But I cant do it I thought. This is just some weird form of torture. But why couldnt I do it? Was it because I was incapable? Nope..Id proven my abilities in practice a gazillion times over. I was quitting... and coach knew it. I was so afraid to fail that I chose to quit instead. No bueno. Finally, at the last meet of the season in the safety of our home pool, I finished. And I wasnt dead last (6th out of 7 if I remember correctly). Coaches words: Freakin finally. You are stubborn. 22 years later, Im still battling my preference to quit versus fail. I will admit loudly for you all today...I HATE FAILING. Im challenged to fight against that fear every time I walk into Crossfit Storrs. Sometimes I am victorious...and sometimes not. And more often than not...I watch with great admiration as others fight against the clock, or the weight, or the skill to accomplish something of their own. Today I watched as one person in my 9am class worked to finish the very last muscle up before the time cap struck. He didnt. I cut him off at 25 minutes (because I was pretty sure that was the right thing to do.) But I knew that he would not leave the building until he banged out that last muscle up. He rolled out, stretched, talked pleasantly the rest of us in the gym and then quietly went back to the rings and did his final muscle up. Boom. Done. And off he went on his way, satisfied. ANYWAY, why am I writing this novel today? Is it because I have successfully completed all my work for my job? No. Because my house is perfectly clean and I have nothing better to do? Yeahhhhhh, no. Its because I am always so humbled by the lessons I learn at Crossfit and feel motivated to share them. Everyone at CFS has taught me something. EVERYONE...and the list is too long to go into fully. Today I learned more about perseverance from Jay (even when no one is watching), Rachel teaches me to LOVE THE WOD no matter how awful it is. Brooke teaches me to laugh through life and things will be fine...even if theyre not. Griffin teaches me to dial it down, sometimes...and that maturity and wit are not synonymous with age. Rob teaches me to not take myself too seriously. Lily teaches me to be supportive and optimistic. Allison teaches me that I know more than I think I do. Julie D teaches me how fierce and strong us moms can be... and thats just a short list of the awesome members of CFS. Its a pretty nifty place. So no...Crossfit is not a cult. But it IS a community. :-) And now back to our regularly scheduled programming...that dissertation wont outline itself! xoxo
Posted on: Wed, 17 Sep 2014 16:25:22 +0000
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