George Carlin on Aging Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when were kids? If youre less than 10 years old, youre so excited about aging that you think in fractions. How old are you? Im four and a half! Youre never thirty-six and a half. Youre four and a half, going on five! Thats the key. You get into your teens, now they cant hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. How old are you? Im gonna be 16! You could be 13, but hey, youre gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. Theres no fun now, youre Just a sour-dumpling. Whats wrong? Whats changed? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then youre PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, its all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 And your dreams are gone. But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didnt think you would! So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. Youve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that its a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesnt end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; I Was JUST 92. Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. Im 100 and a half! May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
Posted on: Tue, 01 Jul 2014 01:53:50 +0000
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