Getting Along with Your In-Laws By Susanne M. Alexander Family unity is vitally important for fellowship, stability, and maintaining a happy marriage. I encourage couples to practice the character qualities of respect and flexibility in building relationships with their potential or actual in-laws (both parents and siblings). If you fight about or criticize one another’s family, it will cause stress within your relationship or marriage. Before and after marriage it can take a great deal of patience, tactfulness, and love to get along. You will likely have to set an occasional boundary (please call before coming over!), but it is worth the effort to get along. There is always a level of gratitude the couple owes to their parents for giving birth to them. Beyond that, the relationship will be important for you as a couple and the grandchildren throughout your marriage. Its vital for your children to have healthy relationships with your in-laws as well as your own family. The more the family interacts with one another using character qualities, the better your relationships will be, and the more positive qualities you will see in one another. You will also be demonstrating to your children what it means to build healthy relationships. So seek out healthy relationships with your in-laws ... dont just let it happen. Building a close relationship before marriage can include seeking parent’s agreement to the marriage happening or seeking advise from siblings ... or simply sharing your plans with them if you dont want to go so far as asking their advise. When all are in agreement that the marriage has good potential, the marriage begins on a unified and strong foundation. My own experience includes all six of us vacationing together after marriage because of the connection built beforehand. Some of the unhappiest families I’ve ever seen are because the marriage was resisted by parents from the beginning. Maintaining a close relationship can include such actions as staying in touch by telephone, Internet video, and email, sending presents on special occasions, initiating visits, and ensuring you are available for family gatherings. No family is perfect, but agreeing to get along with one another reaps many rewards. Remember, its easy for a woman to maintain connections with her own family but especially after the birth of children, it will mean you will need to seek out connections with your in-laws. They will often feel they need to keep their distance and not intrude since they are from the other side of the family ... so bring them in, seek them out and build those lasting relationships in a healthy way. Because whether you like it or not, they ARE now your family too.
Posted on: Wed, 15 Jan 2014 21:23:31 +0000