God revealed why I was facing so many trials these past two weeks. Do you ever feel out of control and then try to fix it yourself? Im prideful....When things happen or go wrong, I think that I will just do this or that and be able to fix it. I will insist that I have the answers to make things right. Many times when I try to fix it, all that results from it is a lot of hurt. Two weeks ago, Madison had a softball bat split her lip in two and a plastic surgeon had to stitch it up. It looked terrible. I cried the entire next day. I was comforted by my daughter when I should have been comforting her. Then that Saturday, a deer ran out in front of Jeremy when he was driving, and the pride in me actually blamed him and I told him that I thought it could have been avoided. On Wednesday, I noticed an uncomfortable spot that kept getting bigger and bigger. I was miserable. When I went to the doctor, I was told that it was a cyst and that I needed surgery next week. When the nurse called me the next day, she told me that it would be 1600 dollars upfront. I knew that wasnt going to be able to happen. Around the time that the car accident happened, I began questioning why these things would happen and just told myself that it was Satans attack on my family. I didnt change what I was doing. Any problem that I faced, I decided to try to fix it. The problems werent getting fixed that way. Monday afternoon, I noticed that the cyst was getting smaller. Now I cant even feel it. Its gone completely. I was on the way to revival tonight at church, God started speaking to me about a lot of things. I was wondering why I just dont trust God with things and why I feel like I need to try to control and fix things myself, because it never works out. Then I heard clear as day (it was my voice but they werent my words), Wendy, did you have control when Madison was hit by the softball bat? No. There was nothing that I could do. Did I take care of Madison and heal her completely? Yes, Im told that she is a miracle almost everyday. Did you have control over Jeremy hitting a deer with the car? No, you cant control when a deer runs out in front of you. Did I take care of the car? Is it being fixed? Yes, the prayer that it wont be totaled has been answered so far. Do you have control over whether or not a cyst is growing inside of you? No, I cant stop it from happening. Did I heal you? Is it still growing inside of you? Yes, I cant even find it anymore. You healed me! Wendy, when you faced those things that you had absolutely no control over, You had to just trust me. There was no way that you could try to fix those things by yourself. I gave you those things to humble you and make you aware of how prideful you have been. I took care of every need in each of those situations. They are taken care of. Instead of try to control outcomes and fix things yourself, you need to surrender ALL to me. I cried and cried and told God that I would while I was driving my car to church. I even lifted my hands to praise him on the way there. The message that was preached really confirmed what I believed God had spoken to me. During the message, God was telling me that I needed to make things right at the altar. When the music started, I went and surrendered all to Him. I told Him that I am going to trust Him completely. No longer will I try to fix things myself. When I got back to my seat, God was speaking to me. He told me to share with those people what He had done for me these last two weeks. I told him, God, when I speak, no one understands me because I cry. I just cant God, because I wont be able to get through it. Nathan had seen me cry, and he took my hand and pulled me to my knees right there at the bench. He put his arm around me and started praying, Please God, help my mommy not to cry. He prayed the same words a couple of times. Then I stood back up, and a few minutes later, he pulled me to the floor and prayed that same prayer over me again. I stood back up, and I said, God, I cant speak to these people. That preacher is wearing a headset. I cant take that off and put it on my head. Not even a minute later, our choir director came down from the choir loft with a handheld mike in his hand. I left the pew and went to our pastor and told him what I felt like God wanted me to do. He let me speak to that sanctuary filled with people. I told them the story that I just told all of you. I told them that if they are feeling out of control, and if they feel like they are trying to fix things themselves that they need to surrender it all to the One who is in control just like I did over on the altar a few minutes ago. I told them that He loves me so much that He did all of this for me so that I can learn to trust Him. (Yall, he doesnt want us to live a life of worry, stress, and a feeling out of control.) Then I said, If you dont know the One who is in control, then come down here to this altar and get to know Him, because He takes care of everything. Some people may look at this and say that God let bad things happen to me, so why am I happy about it. Why am I at peace about it? Because every single thing that consumed me with worry is now taken care of. And people in that sanctuary who are going through the same battles and even tougher battles heard what an awesome God we have and how we dont need to worry, because He healed Madison, the cars taken care of, and I am healed. He will take care of it all!! If my testimony changed one persons life, if it led to one persons salvation, I would gladly live it all again so the glory of our God can shine through
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 02:06:39 +0000