Going to college and survival, working, paying bills, dealing with others , shoving in my face every thing i need to change and neglected to in life. the easy stuff is everything outside my head, i grade well , I do good work, the universe more than abundantly carries me past times i think everything is falling to pieces,,,,Its the constant reiteration of everything i havent changed in my head, Trauma from early experiences, the damage i didnt realize it did, All i have seen and changed and all thats left. its exhausting, ill be blunt. there are times i have just wanted to quit everything , feeling i couldnt take one more step, because its not ONE thing its everything at once. The ONLY thing i know for a fact, is when i surrender it all to my higher self and walk away from it, things change, Things work out. Walk away from the stress, the anger the trauma, walk thought it see it admit it and let it go hopefully never to return because you didnt cower from revealing how the world damaged you. There is no working solution with people that hide their skeletons, thats why so many people feel so fake. But to their credit this shit is about as hard as anything can be in life and there is no roadmap.
Posted on: Tue, 16 Dec 2014 19:00:40 +0000
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