Good Evening My friends; How is everyone tonight? I am doing good. Feeling tired yes, but still going at a good pace. Today was a really awesome day. The weather was beautiful and I was witness to an bald eagle sitting amongst all the geese today. :) Pretty awesome. I wish I could have taken a picture but I didn’t have my camera with me and he was too far away to get a good pic with the cell phone. For my eyes only I guess and call me crazy if you like but I swear we looked into each other’s eyes. :) I felt his power and his strength. Maybe he was sharing some teachings with the geese. ;) At work, we sometimes get thousands of geese resting in the huge field. It’s pretty awesome. There were many huge families scattered all over. Reminds me of our people back in the day when we all worked together and helped each other out. We took turns leading and we honored and respected each other as an equally valuable member. I have learned life is a journey down our chosen path… whether that be the ego driven or spirit driven path. We decide. It doesn’t matter the excuses either. Most hurting people have numerous reasons and excuses why they choose the negative path and they are all very valid. If one really wants help tho, if they truly want to break free of addictions, compulsions, dysfunctional behaviors, whatever it may be…Then one must be willing to take action, no more excuses. Be responsible; take ownership of their mistakes. Learn from them so they can avoid those obstacles in the future. I understand it’s hard work to get on track, especially if one feels they have never really were on track in the first place. And there are others who were once on top of the world and felt fame and fortune who have fallen and got hurt. That is a brutal feeling as well. Especially if we made some mistakes and acted out of ego and disregard of others. We get what we give with double the force. It’s not easy to swallow your ego pride and own up to it without excuses. Just know, everyone has them and it’s okay. We aren’t perfect and only become stronger and wiser when we learn from our mistakes and take ownership. So I am choosing my path carefully and I am expecting to see obstacles and negativity to cross it from time to time. That’s life and I would be naïve to think I am immune to it. The worst doesn’t happen to me alone, even though it sometimes feels like it, everyone experiences it in some way or some form. Knowing that, I don’t say bring it on. Cos really I would rather not bring it on. Instead, I pray and I pay attention to my surroundings, the weather, animals, the going ons in the world and most important to the words I speak and I hear. I pay attention to our actions, behaviors and I am quick to recognize when anger comes my way. Of course I still feel it. I am human. I am just getting much better at closing the door on it and focussing on the positive or at least dealing with the negative in the most positive way possible with the understanding that this too will pass and sunny skies will come again. And the moments when I do find myself falling into the negativity, I quickly pull myself out, take ownership and accept responsibility and consequences and I carry on in a healthier more destined way. My day at work went really well. How can it not when we smudge, give thanks and pray everyday? ;) Again I must reiterate the girls are the ones who make my position worthwhile. They tell me how much I help them and even how destined they feel to succeed, despite their obstacles and challenges. They feel the change I see and feel the change in them. Others see and feel the change in others too. It’s catchy and it seems more want to learn and more want to start walking a good walk. Their eyes sparkle, their smiles are genuine, they laugh healing laughter. I let them know they help me back in so many ways. We all empower each other, we have sacred gifts and in our circles we slowly open them and each time we do we are filled with a blessing that touches the deepest part of our souls. It’s healing, it’s transformation, discovery, it’s peaceful and leaves one feeling destined to live a good life. I am still unsure how my schedule is going to work. Things seem to be settled down, the cards are all on the table and we are all back on track. My work duties may change in the next while and I may have some more responsibilities. I am trusting everything will work out and I will be able to finish out my contract in a healthy and positive way. Letting go is a very valuable teaching to pass on and crazy to say but I am honored to teach this lesson, even though it’s hard. It’s not easy to let go of something you love. Especially if that something works in your favor, or perceived favor. First instinct is to rebel and fight. Myself, I try and fix the things I love if I can and make things work out but there is always a point when I have to say, this isn’t working and it’s time to move on. It’s okay, it’s nothing personal to whoever I am dealing with. It’s just a healthy decision I have no choice but to make. And if someone walks away from me, I have to accept that as well, we can’t force people to walk our path. They have their own journey they are on, their own mistakes to make and learn from. I feel the anger and frustration over losing something I love, but I know if I don’t accept it, face it and move on, I will be frozen in space and it’s not a healthy space to be frozen in. I know my journey is not over and neither are the girls. Life still goes on without me. I learned that through my last burnout. We will all be okay, we will be even better because we are doing things in good way. I am letting go but not completely, the girls all know my desire to help them overcome their difficulties and succeed in life, don’t stop just because I am no longer employed. I’ll still visit, volunteer and help them as much as I can and they can always join my fb community. :) I am always close by in spirit for sure as I always keep the girls in my prayers and good thoughts. Yay, I finally put some very important documents in the mail today. I picked them up this afternoon and was happy and relieved about that. Now I wait. :) I got some other things accomplished as well and I am starting to shop around for a vehicle, I am thinking about an SUV with seven seats (minimum) or a mini van. Myself, I’d prefer the SUV, but I’ve been a mini van mom, I can be again too. Lol. I’ll see where the best deal is. I like road trips with the kids, it’s too squishy for less than seven seats and I don’t like leaving little people out, whether I have a good excuse or not. :) I also got Derek to research video surveillance for the house. It’s time to get on that and put up the sensor lights and make my space a little healthier to live in. I am excited about it as I really believe it will cut down the prostitution that is happening outside my door. I don’t think the Johns or the girls want to be on camera. I am hoping it will lesson the amount of needles, condoms and beer cans I find in and around my yard as well. I care about the people and I am not out to hurt them or even spy on them, I just want them to keep the negativity away from my home. I pray for them all the time but I also know when they are in street mode and not ready or wanting my help. They are too caught up in living a numbing, painful life. When I got home, I felt much more relaxed as my kitchen is still clean. Yay! :) My body is tired and I know I need a good nights rest, so the plan is to go to bed earlier tonight. So I will wish you all a beautiful evening and a great day tomorrow filled with blessings and miracles. As always sending loads of love, light and prayers to everyone, everywhere!!
Posted on: Wed, 02 Oct 2013 00:30:43 +0000
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