Good Listening improves self-esteem and confidence, higher academic performance and even better health and general well-being. • Studies have shown that, whereas speaking raises blood pressure, listening brings it down • It makes us feel worthy, appreciated, validated, interesting, and respected. • It brings greater intimacy in personal relationships • It saves time and money by preventing misunderstandings. • We learn more when we listen than when we talk Hearing refers to the sounds that you hear, whereas listening requires more than that: it requires focus. Listening means paying attention not only to the story, but how it is told, the use of language and voice, and how the other person uses his or her body. In other words, it means being aware of both verbal and non-verbal messages. Your ability to listen effectively depends on the degree to which you perceive and understand these messages. How to Listen : The Technique. 1. Face the speaker. Sit up straight or lean forward slightly to show your attentiveness through body language. 2. Maintain eye contact, to the degree that you all remain comfortable. 3. Minimize external distractions. Turn off the TV. Put down your book or magazine. 4. Respond appropriately to show that you understand. 5. Focus solely on what the speaker is saying. Try not to think about what you are going to say next. 6. Minimize internal distractions. If your own thoughts keep horning in, simply let them go and continuously re-focus your attention on the speaker. 7. Keep an open mind. Wait until the speaker is finished before deciding that you disagree. 8. Unless they specifically ask for advice, assume they just need to talk it out. 9. Even if the speaker is launching a complaint against you, wait until they finish to defend yourself. The speaker will feel as though their point had been made. They won’t feel the need to repeat it, and you’ll know the whole argument before you respond. 10. Engage yourself. Ask questions for clarification, but, once again, wait until the speaker has finished. That way, you won’t interrupt their train of thought. After you ask questions, paraphrase their point to make sure you didn’t misunderstand. Start with: “So you’re saying…”
Posted on: Mon, 18 Aug 2014 04:12:30 +0000
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