Good Morning! All parents want to give their children the world. They want to make sure that everything available is there for their children to make them happier, smarter, well liked, etc.. All of that is very noble and understandable. What sometimes we forget, as parents, is that although the things we give our children are important, the most important thing we should be giving them is our time. In our fast paced world of expectations coming from everywhere, time has become even more precious and yet our children need it more. They need to to just be with us - playing games, coloring, playing in the mud, just being present with them as they go about their days. Believe it or not, even teenagers crave to have some time with us even as they are pushing us away. When my husband first started starting working, a good friend of his told him something that he never forgot. His friend told him that although he was very successful what he regretted the most was that he did not spend enough time with his children. My husband took that to heart and throughout his career he always kept that in mind when making choices about jobs. He turned down promotions because of the extra work time involved and he even quit his job traveling internationally because he was away from home so often. Sometimes he took a cut in pay and although his career advanced he never reached his full potential in the work force. But..he more than made up for that in his job as a dad. He was able to be around when the girls were growing up and he spent a lot of time with them: Taking them shopping with him, playing airplane, serving them breakfast at Joes diner. I even have a picture of him dressed in a prom dress with a hat on - now that shows dedication! :) He also coached soccer and softball teams and if he was not coaching he was at mostly all of their games. He was there for ballet recitals, school activities, and girl scout trips. He was there when they needed his advice, he was there to give them a hug when they tried to push him away. he was there when they cried and he was their to help them celebrate their triumphs. He was just there and he has no regrets. So...think about what you want for children. Think about what memories you want them to have. Think about how much fun they are and how fast they will grow up. Then dont worry about giving them things - instead spend as much time with them as you possibly can. Have some fun today! peggy The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day. -O.A. Battista, Catholic author (1901-1973) ScreamFrees Take We spend so much of our time accumulating wealth and security that we can far too easily miss out on those small opportunities with our families that actually make life worthwhile. Because we want to provide for our families, we find ourselves caught in a web of responsibilities like jobs, mortgages, soccer practices, dinners, and neighborhood meetings. There is nothing wrong with that in and of itself. The problem arises when we allow those things and the anxiety surrounding them to take precedent over who they are there for in the first place. Don’t sell yourself short when it comes to the importance of your presence around your children. They crave your company and they thrive in your attention. Not false attention or focus where the weight of the family is on their shoulders but rather, real attention…no strings attached. Tonight when it’s time for the kids to go to bed. Start a little earlier and be as fully present as you can with your children. Really look at them and allow yourself to delight in them again like you once did. Just by seeing them in this light and giving them your undivided attention, you will be giving them a gift worth far more than any portfolio. You will be giving them the gift of true security. -Hal Runkel, LMFT, Author of ScreamFree Parenting & ScreamFree Marriage
Posted on: Mon, 21 Oct 2013 13:26:06 +0000
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