Good Morning Warriors! I hope you had a restful and reflective weekend. I did, and would like to share some of the things that I thought needed to be shared for healing. I have my coffee, I hope you do too. So let’s chat a bit. Have you noticed that we tend to make rash decisions in the heat of the moment? We tend to do it for a range of different reasons, but mostly, at least I think for relationship decisions. I don’t really like to “beat the dead horse” by keep talking about the problem, I want to move on to the solution after the problem, not talk and talk and talk about the problem. (Now, I know your thinking how that is possible? Well, the Narcissist is always going to be the Narcissist, so let’s educate ourselves on how to protect ourselves from any future Narcissist, and begin healing from the chaos the last/current on has left in its wake.) We need to learn to be prepared for any possible next encounters. We have all had relationship problems. And if you are reading this, it is doubtful that you have no scars from those relationship problems. It is most likely that we have “unsafe” ways of picking people for relationships, or people to be a part of our lives, and there is a pattern that we follow, generally for every relationship. We all have a chosen way to choose people. Now it is time to learn from them, as these are the wrong solutions, why are they the wrong solution? Since our previous attempts at choosing did not work, or at least not to produce a healthy relationship with another person. So in order to find people that are “safe” or “healthy” in a matter of speaking, we need to change our pattern of how we choose people to be in our lives, and especially in our children’s life’s. The wrong “pattern” for choosing relationships, is a lot of the reason why we tend to give up on love and the ability to have a healthy intimate relationship with another human being. Because our “radar” is broken, and we chose the wrong, unhealthy type of person. Now we are going to break that cycle. There things we do when looking for a relationship, that are unhealthy choices, and produce relationships with unhealthy people that are harmful to us, mentally, physically, emotionally and cause us huge heartache. What we need to do, instead of trying to figure out why the N left me, or why, why, why. We need to realize that Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a Mental disorder first, and that those who have it do not believe, much less will they ever admit they have a disorder, it is how they are wired. And while “WE” normal people (for all practical purposes) cannot wrap our heads around what they have done to us, against us, to our children or to our family or why they did the things they did to us. We are wasting time and energy on the NPD instead of focusing on how to try our damndest to never let it happen again, right? It is time to heal, and regain control over our own lives, to create a different “pattern” of how we choose people to be in our lives, and have intimate relationships with others. Healing in part requires us to not do the same thing over and over (insanity: doing same thing over and over, yet expecting different results) We have to break the cycle. We have to take what we have learned from the choices we have made up to this point, and weed out the ones that did not work, so we can begin to close the gaping hole in our heart that the N took. l.k.
Posted on: Mon, 09 Sep 2013 14:46:07 +0000
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