Good Morning my friends across the Globe, this is Debbie Dirks reporting the weather from Gilmore City here in the great state of Iowa. According to our local news, we will be receiving 1-8 inches of snow in our area beginning at 2pm this afternoon. Please be careful on your morning commutes, because everyone over 70 will think this is the big one and run out to empty the stores of milk and water at a pace of about 40 miles per hour as the wind is already blowing. Many cant see over the top of their steering wheels, so please prepare your store front by lining them with carts and as they pay please describe accurately where REVERSE is and not Forward. May I also remind you that kids with new licenses will think that this is a great time to test their driving skills and as soon as it is good and slick they will be out ramming into parked cars, so try to keep clear of all side streets! Please also remember your mail carriers, they love to walk on un scooped sidewalks and driveways to get to your mailbox because it makes their job so much easier! Store owners and managers, dont worry about mopping up the floors, as big corporations deserve lawsuits with your names attached and by god DONT forget especially if you get off early to hit the nearest bar for a couple ten beers as you can call in late tomorrow anyway and we would really love you dumbasses on the roads! And please please please dont listen to the forecasters or the department of transportation tell you to stay the HELL OFF THE ROADS unless it is a dire emergency like getting your nails done so they can clean things quicker and keep you safe! Happy 1st Snow Storm of 2015! ps my happy ass is staying in my house no matter WHAT!
Posted on: Mon, 05 Jan 2015 14:01:58 +0000