Good christ im up from my nap, its only 5:30 ......and there is still a whole weekend yet to get through...... as well as a Friday to suffer the length of..... water drip torture of the worst kind.... on repeat 52 weeks every year. What else is there to look forward to but the passing of time???? ... and that equates to the coming of death.... So let me ask that question again, rephrased more properly: What is there to look forward to but the long coming of death? Maybe I can go get a bagel sandwich at the local bagelry....for $7.00 ~or~ Maybe I can get a coffee again, and add on to the one from this morning for a round up of $4.00 Maybe I can go elicit a minor to sling me illegal plant matter since all the legal routes to it are exhausted. Maybe I can go jump off one of a few viable bridges in town..... and put an end to this ongoing question that lingers in front of my face every waking minute of my drudgerous life...... while everyone around me fellates the tongue of their soul-mate that I myself, just like happiness and monetary success, have been denied in life by my guardian angel/keeper. A sadist angel from hyperspace, whom no doubt likely, from out whatever dimension it resides in, lets its virtual-pet Tamagotchi starve to death..... and likely neglects its living spawn just as well. Go ahead Life, I am waiting.....set me up with another ghost from my past....where I can be impressed upon to perform as a conscious being as I once did.....just so that specter can relive their fantasy regarding my abilities in life that they long took for granted until I was too far away to insist upon an encore, or so they can remember why they drifted away from me in the first place. May your next life be filled with nothing but ghosts from your past, all of whom are neither hot nor cold. All who speak loudly, but who dont feel. Who share memories but lack warmth. Who know just the right button to push on you because they installed it....May your lives be filled with uncomfortable silences over dinner tables and cold stares of attempted reconnection. May your idea of a soul mate rob you of all you were to return you to a crowd of people who then ask where is everything you had? Knowing full well what the answer will be, who is to blame, and then dont even consider the answer as final, thinking they can somehow deny the scenario SO MUCH that it falters back to the the way things used to be. Before the great and lingering lie of life was ventured to be taken as truth.
Posted on: Thu, 04 Sep 2014 21:49:06 +0000
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