Good evening and welcome to the news from BFN ALLIED POWERS MEET TO REMEMBER WORLD WAR II The representatives of the French, who hate the British, The British who dislike the French, the Russians who despise the Americans and the Americans who are oblivious to being hated by everyone are to meet for a BBQ on a beach in Normandy. Apparently its a Jacobs joint said David Cameron. Were taking some traditional Best-of-British fare including overcooked cabbage, boiled potatoes and scrag end neck of mutton. US ANNOUNCES PLANS FOR COLD WAR II *America announces $1 billion worth of shocking and awesome military aid that is set to shock and awe in a last ditch attempt to find a new enemy. “Europe is a tried and tested arena for battle and it’s time that the glory days of Cold War I are repeated.” said John Kerry who is also In Europe sourcing for wool for his natural look head of hair. “Let’s be brutally frank here, we’ve exhausted all fields of conflict in Asia, in the Middle East, North Africa so it’s back to Europe. Nothing beats convincing people that they are living in fear and need protecting NEW ABUSE CASES *man steps forward and reports abuse to police “I was abused by Emu” *woman speaks out after years of torment “I was assaulted by Emu whilst Rod Hull stood by and did nothing to help me” NEW SCANDAL IN CARE HOME *BBC undercover report reveals images of staff sneaking garlic into kitchen of care home. *Cottage pie “laced with garlic” says damning report *pensioner rushed to hospital with potentially life threatening garlic poisoning *pensioner “conned” into enjoying chicken Kiev. “it was lovely and I really enjoyed it. I even asked for second helpings. They told me it was onion, but it was only when my daughter came and smelt it on my breath that I realised that the staff were trying to kill me” said Mrs Flora Flinch (86) *”I’m 81” said another pensioner. “it’s disgusting that they’re trying to feed us on this foreign stuff. We’ve got white pepper and salt in this country. Why do we need all that toxic stuff like garlic?” and finally a look at the weather: Yes, there will be. And that was the news from Brutally Frank. My name is Timothy Shaftwat. Goodnight
Posted on: Tue, 03 Jun 2014 17:34:44 +0000
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