Good morning Mammy No 8: Well I knew it wasnt going to be long before yet another installment of Good Morning Mammy would be in order. So here goes. I am loving that my munchkin is now sleeping through the night (almost every day) but it does mean that I am getting to bed later as he seems to want to watch guck guck (cartoons) until about 10pm. I then of course spend time in my editing hole after that until a little ungodly hour but hey I am not at all complaining it actually relaxes me. Anyways....I get up to the most amazing sound this morning... MAMMI MAAAAAMMI MAAAAAAAAAAMMIiiiiiiiiiiii and with one eye open cause the other is crusted shut I waddle on over and there he is...my boy with his outstretched arms and cute smile, jumping up and down. Not only does he make me almost break down in tears crying after saying these words for the first time Mammii aiiiiii cuddles he then gives me a big smacker on the lips. --- enough to melt ice in the arctic... I decide its best if we have mammy and Logan time and cuddles under the duvet. I then get a message from Germany stating come onto Skype now so we did and Oma and Opa are there also sharing in cuddly moments. Well thats when we realise we have to get up and start getting ready for school (creche) and work... This is how it should go: - Logan undressed from Jammies - Change Nappy - Wipe and smear bottom with anything that repels anything to do with nappy rash - Get dressed - Give morning drink - Put on cartoons - Mammy shower - Mammy get dressed - Put face on - Get into car - Get to school (creche) and work... That should only take about 27 mins all in all... This is reality: - Stop child from hiding in the drawer. - Negotiate the knickies and bra from sed child which he is now cuddling and saying awwww - Undress child from jammies...one leg out...other leg out...little shit escapes by doing a crocodile death roll and manages to slip off the bed between your legs and leg it. - Chase half necked child - Beat off dog who thinks its a game - Manage to grab child and get rest of Jammies off... - Take off old nappy - Remember you forgot to get fresh nappy, powder and cream - Go get the items specified above - Retrieve child from drawer again - Stop him from tugging at his wee winkie - Start process of freshening child - Remember you forgot to get the wipes....(GOD DAMMIT SHELLY) - Go get sed items - Look for child who conveniently has now found a new hiding spot under the desk - Beat off dog who tries to get in front of you and retrieve the child himself. Again thinking its a fun game - Get nipped in the hand by dog...by mistake. - Lob dog into his bed - Grab the child from under the desk and then proceed with the changing of nappy. - wiped area, check for new rash spots, weepy spots are powdered and crusty spots are sudocremed... - Dodge flying powder bottle whilst holding death roll expert and open nappy - Grab clothes for School (Creche) and lay them out... - Put on body warmer and put arms through...feel confident as child is co-operative. Go to fasten buttons at bottom...no problems.....eek this is going great!! - Turn to get trousers...child gone - Chase half dressed child to top of stairs at the same moment he closes the stargate....on my thumb fingernail... - Grab sed child in body lock over shoulder. - Back onto bed pinning child with left leg and putting on trousers. easy... - Notice socks are missing. - Chase dopey dog through house upstairs and downstairs to drop the matching socks especially sorted for this outfit!!... - Boot dog up the bum (not literally but its sounds funnier than snatching socks from dogs mouth) - Find child stepping into the drawer again...Is that an Irish thing?? - Put socks on now as it seems less co-operative baby boy. - Figure it would be easier dressing an Octopus at this stage. - Grab top try to pull over childs head...mutter to yourself jesus CHRIST he has grown an awful lot since last week. Only then notice that the buttons were not undone. Now have a stuck, unco-operative child and am shaking cause I dont wish to hurt him... - Lose a nail - Pull top on and arms through heyyyyyyy presto.. done. - Give him bottle of drink and then head to shower and look forward to the relaxing spray of the hot stream. - MAAAMMIIIIiiiii Guck guck. - NEIN KEIN GUCK GUCK (no no cartoons) - Looks at child who gives an astonished look of utter disbelief and caves like a soggy sponge... - Puts on netflix and Monsters Inc. - Gets undressed for shower...Dog walks in... - Scoots dog out..ITS MAMMIii time - Starts shower and forgets time, place and virtue... - SHOWER curtain gets RIPPED back and bottle in mouth child standing there wanting cuddles... - No mammy needs to get clean....Child repeats...Mammiiiiii guck guck cuddles.... - gets out of shower... realises she forgot her Towel...Drips all over the place. Trying to avoid female housemate who is on her way out... (You are a star CatOf ManyHats ) - Hears child mutter... Bellyyyyyyyy....Boobies....... - Sigh - Get dressed...Top present, socks present...Underwear gone...In dogs bed being munched on by (soon to be dead) chihuahua - Retrieve sed items and get dressed... CANNOT FIND MY SKIRT.....Child is quiet...Look in bathroom and realise the child decided my skirt needed a shower too... - Pull out new outfit. Get dressed... - Realise no time to put face on. - Grab shoes for child...realise 1 shoe is hidden - Launch full scale shoe search party operation. - Checks drawer...shoes inside yesssssssss starting to know my sons ways. - Turns around to grab child...the little ninja is standing RIGHT NEXT TO ME...I jump to the side....Bash my shin and ankle into the still open drawer and say under my breath...thats going to bruise. - Giggling child makes off again yet mammy is quicker now with all that extra adrenalin...puts on shoes and lets go. Well now mammy has to speed up so sneakers on (as now need to run to get to work on time), make up bag into the handbag (people who know me well know how big that things is), extra keys and now extra heels to take to work also. - Pack child into car - Doesnt want to be strapped in. - Arches his back even the gymnasts from Russia would be jealous. - Lose another nail - Mammy pins him down again with a swift chuck norris ninja move that would make liam neeson blush and bruce lee turn in his grave. - Hope and pray no one was standing behind me whilst my skirt slides up past my left buttock... - FINALLY STRAPPED IN and punch the air like Rocky at the top of them stairs...all red faced from rushing around like a blue arsed fly, a small bead of sweat rolling down my right cheek and then realise you are actually out of breath. I look at my boy....With his Dodi....He takes it out of his mouth and puckers up and goes MAmmiiiii kuss kuss!!..... ALL the above forgotten... Time taken 83 mins... Good Morning Mammiii
Posted on: Wed, 21 Jan 2015 10:02:19 +0000
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