Good morning dear ones As I prepare to release this post I honestly feel shaky for I am intensely aware of my own sham and self proclaiming not good enough internal voices I wrote the following as my submission for an upcoming magazine edition on Maui Well, ironically just writing it, just submitting it, just owning it as mine created the exact same stuff My article pronounced as not my business any longer to do In other words, my article discussed the internal very real angst that arises in the morning as I rise But when turning it in, I am slapped with the reminder of how those same voices like to cling on all day and I must argue repeatedly in order to continue my self commitment I say all of this not to ask you to be focused in me Rather Its because I really really know I am not alone I know many of you experience that self critic so much so that it steaks from your personal joy on a daily basis. I also know many of you have found how to release yourself too Yeah! So my wish and Prayer for you today is simple Dear Lord Thank you for placing those wondrous thoughts in our hearts which argue oh so loyally with our shame, guilt, fear, etc voices Thank you for guiding us all to each other in irder to share our strength and stories Thank you for reminding us not to see the light of day as a threat but as an invitation To the greater party ever! Love you May we all be solitarily confined NO MORE ! Xo SOLITARY CONFINEMENT NO MORE Rolling over onto my restless side, I notice a small yet significant glare sneaking through my drapes. I find myself releasing the same sigh I do almost every day about this time as I then hear the neighborhood roosters doing whatever it is they do every single morning reminding us all that we had better forget about sleeping in. Suddenly, a whirlwind of birds begin their singing and it’s clear that there’s no chance for me to avoid it any longer. I struggle with the sheets pulling at my body, or is it my soul, as if to offer freedom from an ever strangling angst –as if they actually know what my day really entails more than I. The very thought of a shower sends chills down my spine when it would be a sense of cleansing and joy for most of the world. “What’s wrong with me?” I ask myself as I gasp internally looking around to see if anyone can actually see me. “What am I doing?” “Why am I here?” “What purpose do I serve anyway?” the repeated phrase, “there are people starving in Africa or dying of “real” diseases like Aids and Cancer” swallows me up as I am whining because I am well, feeling “separate”, “ different” from the rest of the wondrous people around me. Suddenly it dawns on me, the “other” words that I have stated many times over to all of the most phenomenal people I am blessed to work with in my practice. My purpose is as pure as the conception of new life and as blessed upon me without a price or some “law” stating I need to reclaim my worth on a daily basis. My soul is beautiful “as is” thus, I need not sell myself short simply to “hope” or “buy” my way into any group of “others” by the angelic name of “acceptance” or “good enough.” No, the only true enemy I need to be concerned with is the one who holds me in solitary confinement. The one who places unrealistic expectations, lies to my face, cheats on my soul, and punishes me at alarming rates. So, not only can I now see my morning not as something to be afraid of, but as remarkable gift given to me wrapped in the most elegant irreplaceable BIRTHday paper. The lenses with which I use to view life through have been replaced and my vision is colorful and flowing. I don’t need to know what tomorrow will be. I don’t even need to know what the end of today “should” be…all I need to make sure of, is that I release myself from my own shame based bondage and practice true vulnerability. Participating in my own life adventure is not only the greatest opportunity, but also the exact “sense of belonging” I crave and dream about. My worth and “fitting in” is not based on who “notices me” today, rather it is “How I notice myself.” I am the key master of this cage. My voice is loud and strong now as I feel my body almost wanting to dance. I not only welcome the light of a new day, I hold my head high inviting it in with a Clint Eastwood stance and I shout internally “I am free; solitary confinement no more!” Jenny Grace Shaw
Posted on: Mon, 08 Sep 2014 15:02:04 +0000
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