Greedy money grubbing heathens .... Honestly, I often wonder how some people sleep at night .. I have my whole life ... I believe that when one hurts .. that we all hurt ... maybe because I am an empath and I feel things to a degree most dont .. or so it seems .. I am constantly being told that I need to calm down .. I need to stop crying ... I am not allowed to cry ... I am a human being ... so many mistake my tears for weakness .. I am tired of holding back all that hurts me ... all that I feel ... all want to be on the love side of that great emotion but God forbid .. you should express any pain ... God forbid .. you are then labeled unstable .. and they will use it against you just as they are me with my child .. on day 37 and no end in sight. It is all just beyond me that they can take your child on an accusation and turn in into a plethora of degrading judgmental never-ending adjectives of who and what you are .. ordering of me to do everything under the sun to facilitate their programs in which I have followed to a t .. and then some .. proactive from the start .. and now I am told that Bianca will not be coming home on my court date ...... I cannot get ahold of my public defender, it took a week to get ahold of my social worker because she is out sick .. I have a double ear infection from going to a doctor that stuck something in my ear that was dropped on the floor .. twice ... I have been taken to the er via ambulance sprayed in the mouth with something that made the back of my head feel like it would explode and ended back in the er the next day where they shot me up with steroids which my ass still hurts from .. I am told so sorry weve been very busy with the holidays .. etc .. and now my worker is out sick .. only I am more sick than she .. and I am still expected to run the streets barely walking with the same illness .. only to be told my child is not going to be returned to me .. unless of course I can get a lawyer that can sway the judge .... How to do this when I cannot even reach him? ... how to do this with no money ... My child wants to come home ... how to fix this .. it is an outrage .. to put it mildly .. an outrage .. they are tearing my child and myself apart and for what ......... to say she is not safe in my care is the most preposterous thing I have ever been accused of in my life ... and I just dont know where to go from here .. I dont know .. my mother said to me today .. she said many things out of anger that day ... yeah .. no shit .. here is the difference .. I went to jail over something I did not do .. and they have taken my child .. how to continue on like this I dont know where to find the strength ... I am at a loss ... a total loss .. and completely alone daily ..... I live in silence .. with no love .. only fingers pointing at me in every direction ... and with a shred of hope that the truth will prevail .. greed ... has my child .. selfish greed .. just as the post states .. it is all a business .. they know my child is safe by now .. give me a break for Gods sake .. give me a break .... when and where does it end .. when she is a teenager? .... I am told now I cannot even bring my cell phone to take pictures .. on my once a week visit ... that is over before it starts because they spend so much time going through all my bags and things I bring for us to eat .. etc .. so that we can have some sort of normalcy ... We cannot go outside .. we have to sit in a tiny room with two women in chairs at the door writing down all that we say and do ... when they are not pulling me out of the room for saying something wrong .............. surreal .. it is all so surreal .... and wrong on every level. I love you .. sorry for the rant ............. I am hurting so badly I cant help it .............
Posted on: Sat, 24 Jan 2015 02:52:51 +0000