Grief and Loss. In the past couple of years we have ventured into many a dark corner in this ministry. God has a way of bringing people into our lives and events onto our horizon that bring the work we do very close to our own hearts. Sadly our combined family is suffering from some painful fractures. Broken relationships between a mother and her children carry very deep scars. I learned through my own journey; that although my upbringing was less than ideal it was the only upbringing I was ever going to have. It served me well in its dysfunction because it made me who I am today. It was a terrifying journey to be on at the time but one I am glad to have participated in now. My parents did the best they could. They lived through things that I would have found intolerable. I love my now deceased mum and dad and I never think to forgive them because they did nothing to forgive. It is what it is. I hate the saying about building a bridge and getting over it. For many there is a need to dig a tunnel and get through it. If we look beyond the behaviours of our parents to find the nest of the pain that they went through that caused that behaviour we may not only set ourselves free but them too. There is a very good reason that the laws of God tell us to honour our mother and father. As I watch my wife put her pain in a box and place it in her secret place I feel for her constant grief. We pray for those who are determined to be lost to us and look for a tell tale sign of recovery. I thought recently how it may have even been easier if those estranged had passed away. At least there would be a plausible reason for their absence instead of this constant ache, this death of a thousand cuts. Its not wishing them dead; I for one hope to greet them with open arms. I know them not yet they seem to me as my own children. It was another way of processing it that I was keen to find. I decided to put this dilemma to a couple of dear friends who have suffered incredible loss in their lives. It is like the entire gamet of grief has befallen these wonderful people. We bonded with Carl and Rosalie Needham at a camp meeting in 2013. We were meant to meet. As we spent a week sharing each others testimony, the love for God and of God was palpable. Rosalie has lost a precious son and her first husband. A vivacious organiser and hostess, there lies beneath the surface a pain that transforms when she feels that no one is watching. I was pressed by a higher power to ask her what she thought of our dilemma. Her answer was poignant and heart felt. I have asked Rosalie for permission to post her reply on this site. I will do that over the weekend. A mothers love is a powerful and totally unfathomable thing. It defies logic and any attempt to tie it to the tangible. A child is something that grows in a woman and no man can ever know how something so incredibly intimate can affect your entire life and your soul and spirit. I pray that you will return here over the weekend to ponder this notion from someone who has experienced this and then had it stripped away...or was it? Please read, ponder and respond to Rosalies story in your own way. Let it bring you to share your experiences with us. May God bless and keep you and your children as we spend another weekend in restoration. Graham Hood
Posted on: Fri, 12 Sep 2014 09:08:51 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015