Growing Pains Sooner or later, we experience a particular kind of opportunity or catastrophe we haven’t heard about in meetings. Sometimes an event like a breakup, the loss of a job, or changes in our family triggers a flow of feelings, and it doesn’t stop. Grief, hardship, or betrayal can make us feel terribly lonely. Occasionally, we experience physical changes that bring emotional freight with them, including depression, anxiety, and deep fear. There are also times when we find ourselves in crisis even though the circumstances of our lives look pretty good. Even the excitement of living our dreams—taking on a new career, moving to a faraway place, creating a family—can make us feel like we don’t belong. Sometimes an outside event starts the ball rolling. At other times a cascade of emotions seems to start from nowhere. It can feel like we are backed into a corner, even if nothing is really happening at all. Once we have been through this feeling and survived it clean, we know it won’t last forever. But that doesn’t mean we can see our way out. We come through these experiences with a deepened understanding and faith in our recovery. Through hard work and grace, if we keep coming back, we do get free. Eventually all of us come to an emotional crisis in recovery. We start wondering if recovery will last, or if we had just gotten a brief reprieve and we are about to go crazy again. A member shared, “My life seemed stable by outward appearances, but inside I was a mess. I was clean, but miserable, reactive, and fearful.” We find ourselves in these dark places sometimes with many, many years clean. We deal with our addiction, but some of our underlying issues remain untouched. Long-buried emotions come pouring to the surface, and we may or may not have the tools to deal with them. “As I discovered things about myself,” a member shared, “my emotions started to run amok.” There are no bitter ends in recovery, but sometimes it feels like that’s where we are. Recovery gives us a new chance at life. Sometimes we have to accept that invitation more than once
Posted on: Sun, 25 Jan 2015 13:55:54 +0000
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