Guess Ill take a moment and quickly weigh in on the Ray Rice controversy and give my opinion (and we know what they say about opinions)... Well, here goes: Ray Rice was wrong. Even if she hit at him first, he was wrong. Should a woman keep her hands to herself? Everyone should. Regardless, Ray Rice was wrong. This was not an act of self-defense. His life was not in any imminent danger. Saying its okay to hit her because she hit him first gives any man permission to hit a woman and is a recipe for domestic violence. I dont want my sons to ever put their hands on a woman, unless his life is in serious danger and he is at an unfair disadvantage. Unless those conditions warrant him to have to fight back, I dont want it ingrained in their psyches that its okay if she is just running off at the mouth and swats at you then you can hit her back. That reminds me of Celie telling her stepson in the Color Purple to beat his wife as a means of controlling her. Real men know how to walk away. Real men have self-restraint. I want my sons to realize that they have the choice of leaving . . . even leaving the relationship if a woman is so overbearing, so annoying or worrisome and makes them feel so enraged that they could physically harm her. Some women grow up believing that such behavior is evident of a thriving, functional relationship. Let her get the message that he will not live in a hostile, dysfunctional environment by leaving ... not by hitting her. Just leave. And then take her behind to court. Discipline. Self-control. Integrity. Thats what I want my sons to understand. If any man knocked out and dragged any of my daughters (and I have some strong-willed, independent daughters . . .I consider myself strong-willed and independent ... and I can run off at the mouth as well), nieces, goddaughters, granddaughters or sisters, I am not asking them Well, did you hit him first?...If so, its your fault, no wonder you were sucker punched ... you got what you deserved...you had it coming...now go home apologize and make it right. That, to me is a recipe for disaster and a sure invite for a repeat performance, even if she doesnt hit first the next time. I am encouraging them to seek counseling and take legal action. Sorry, if you dont agree, but thats what Id do. (And if it where my son who did the hitting, I would not beg the woman to let it go because she hit first... thats just me though...no matter how wrong some may think I am. I have tried to teach my sons to own up to their mistakes and deal with the consequences). To me, saying she hit first justifies his actions. What if she suffered an aneurism from his blow and died? Oh, she hit him first though, right? He was wrong. His life was not in danger. Batterers always feel justified. And on that note, I want my daughters, nieces, goddaughters, granddaughters, sisters to never enter a relationship blindly . . . get to know a person . . .look for red flags and dont ignore them . . . not every man was raised being taught that its never okay to hit a woman. Not every man has self-control or restraint. Examine how he handles conflict on his job, with his family, with his friends . . .Is he easily annoyed? Does he consistently blame others? Does he avoid taking responsibility? Does he blow up easily and try to justify it? Does he throw things or punch walls? Does he lack self-awareness? Is he narcissistic? Thats my 2-cent for whatever its worth. Moving on from this topic from my news feed. . .
Posted on: Sat, 13 Sep 2014 17:37:47 +0000
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