HAND UPDATE. (Sort of). For the sake of never having to explain this anyone ever again. Let me be clear about my hand, neck, arm injury and recovery and the cost. First of all, this past June I was on about two or three months of hard practice, recording videos, working toward possibly doing some kind of DVD instructional thing. I was practicing more than I had in a long time. I went about one hour too hard, and too long, too fast, too much on one evening and basically, my hand went numb and absolute FIRE burned inside the top of my fretting hand. This lasted (in spite of stopping for a few days, it lasted for two months, during which time I could not play at all for more than 30 seconds without being tortured). I went from being first call sub for many of the top bands in my city, to a dead stop, overnight. Lets flash back to when this all started, shall we? In 2005, I noticed that my hand was freaking out, so I pursued a diagnosis and had numerous tests including: a bone scan of my hand to rule out bone cancer; an MRI of my neck and brain to rule out brain and neck things like Parkinsons, ALS, etc; I had a spinal tap, a Myelogram to rule out spinal issues; I had epidural steroid injections, surgery on my left hand, nerve tests; I took huge unhealthy doses of Torodol and finally wound up at a Neurologist who diagnosed me [incorrectly, now I know] with Musicians Focal Dystonia. I basically went about my business, and knew that the treatment for such a thing was limited, experimental and not something I wanted to pursue. So, I just kept playing as if nothing was wrong. And this was in the busiest time of my career. I got around it somehow. Until June 5th of this year. Flash back to present and this past summer went something like this: I over practiced April through June. Burned my hand out. Incredible inflammation seared through the extensor tendons in the top of my fretting hand. I stopped for a month. Nothing changed. In July, I went to a chiropractor to get a referral to get physical therapy on my hand. I went religiously for a month to both of them. At that time, I had not yet reached my high deductible on my insurance, so for a while, everything was at MY cost. I went to both the chiro and phys th, three times a week for a month, during July. After a month, the pain had been greatly reduced, but my hand still felt like zip ties had been tied around my tendons when I attempted to play. And there was STILL some pain which endured, in spite of everything. I brought this up to my physical therapist and they said they had done all they could and that I needed to see a hand surgeon. In August, I first thought Id cover my bases and visit my neurologist who had diagnosed me with the Musicians Focal Dystonia years ago. She thought that indeed it WAS the cause and suggested I consider the treatments I had avoided in the past. Yuck and no thanks. In order to STILL make sure I had explored every option, I went to see the hand surgeon who had successfully done the trigger finger/tendon release surgery on my left hand in 2006, and I went on the same day as the neuro appt. HE diagnosed me as requiring Ulnar never transposition surgery to open my arm at my elbow, and move the nerve out of its usual channel (where he felt the nerve was impinged) and he ordered a NCV nerve test to confirm his suspicion. Still, all costs, were out of pocket, at this point. I got the nerve test. It was inconclusive. I did not want my arm opened up, peeled back with a mini rib spreader, and deal with all of the potential risks, if the nerve test was NOT a slam dunk diagnosis. Enter my extraordinary friend of 27 years, Dr Brad Gregg. He tipped me off to the doctor I am now seeing, Dr Ravi Yadava. This doc nailed the diagnosis immediately, as Brad said he would. A pinched nerve in my neck, causing a domino effect down my arm, to my hand. He then proceeded to order another nerve test, 2 epidural steroid injections, a round of oral steroids, an MRI on my cervical spine, now up to 10 transdermal steroid patches on my hand, high doses of Glucosamine and B6, an oral anti inflammatory, an injection of steroids into my elbow, physical therapy three times a week, plus ergonomic changes to my entire life: sitting on a ball rather than a chair, a new computer keyboard and mouse, a wrist brace, an elbow brace, a finger glove for my pinky, daily exercises and stretches, a heating pad, (ALL OF WHICH COST extra expense BEYOND the doc), and most importantly: NO PLAYING GIGS. At all. None. Until HE says. He even has not wanted me to play at all, but I have convinced him to allow it, if it is careful and in small amounts, so I can retrain my hand while we are working on things. All of these things cost money. Money I am putting out and not making back. Keep that in mind. So, the good news is that since mid August, under his care, I have completely eliminated all of the pain in my fretting hand. ALL of it. Except...when I play for too long, or go too far, or get too excited, or when I feel my abilities coming back and I push it a little. THEN I have some discomfort and a reminder that this journey is still not over. Eliminating pain is NOT the only goal. My pinched nerve in my spine caused my left arm to lose muscle mass, which is both visually noticeable and has been measured as 5/8 smaller than my right forearm. Now that MUCH of the inflammation is gone, we get to work on rebuilding my arm and retraining it to not fall into the same contorted angle due to the weakened state. Something considered... Getting a fill in day job is not an option. I would have to lead with that I cant lift anything, have to NOT work whenever I have an appointment, test, treatment or procedure and that the whole goal is to ultimately recuperate my playing, so that I can quit and go back to being a full time musician, like I have been since 1990. Not exactly the prime potential hire. I have insurance. I do not have disability insurance. Of course I have bills, like everyone else. And my full time job (playing music) has left me injured and unable to perform my duties. Since this is ALL I do, all Ive EVER done, I am simply seeing this as being on the disabled list and all my time is spent recovering so I can get back on the team. So...to address the finances. Up to a point, it sucked. Bad. No money in. Lots of money out. Then a couple of friends, amazing friends literally sent me enough to take care of daily expenses and living life outside of paying bills (which I am fine covering from arranging, composing gigs that have come in). With those unsolicited donations, I am able to have a life and give my kids a life while this occurs. (And not to take money for free, those two individuals have been promised by me, my musical services to return their investment, over time). I reached out to fans and friends here on FB as well, to simply help me sell more of my CDs, so I could cover the cost of one specific bill. Just as unexpected and amazing, their generosity exploded, and from THOSE CD purchases and OVER THE TOP donations I was able to cover the one bill. Those that gave beyond the cost of the CD, beyond the cost of a standard lesson, beyond the cost of a standard producer consulting fee, (and including a local musician and his band donating their entire take from a gig to me). From all of that, I have been able to cover, until about a week ago, the incoming balances from tests, treatments and procedures that have been trickling through the system. Ive met my deductible now, and until the end of the year, I am only paying co pays for the specialist, physical therapy, and for steroid patches that arent covered. Not quite as bad, but it still racks it up with less money coming in. Something else to understand: Ive gone through total hell since June with all of this. Its been torture, some of these tests, treatments, etc and Ive spent a TON of my money. My savings was wiped out before anyone stepped forward to help. And Ive spent a ton of OTHER peoples money to get me through this. Changing everything. I started to look at EVERY angle and decided to strip down my guitar gear to a lighter weight set up. In deciding that, I sold one of my heavy Fender Twin amps and ordered a new Carvin guitar which is at least 3 pounds lighter than my current guitar. I was NOT in the market for selling my amp that I love. I was NOT in the market to buy a guitar I could not afford, especially now. And the money spent on the guitar has not come from, nor will it ever come from, the money donated to me. Not one cent of it. But its a worthwhile expense, because I am looking at THE LONG GAME. I need to get at least another quarter century out of playing music. It has to be sustainable. I cant go through all of this torture, spend all of this money, rely on others so much and then go back to playing gigs with the same heavy two amp system, and the same instrument strapped around my neck. So, I sold my amp, used the money for a down payment on the new guitar and will charge the balance, because I MUST keep doing this. Not because I have some dream or wish to fulfill. No. Because unlike many musicians out there, I have no back up. I put every last egg into this basket years ago. This is it. Im not giving up without a fight. In the meantime, while all of this happens, I am still a dad, still a person who goes to the movies and concerts and takes my kids places and I spend money doing those things. I dont want there to be any perception that Im pan handling and then living it up. And Im NOT pan handling. I asked for friends to help sell my CD, they reached out to ME in various, insanely generous ways. Its because of THEM that I am able to get though this with my sanity in tact and not go horribly into debt. Its because of THEM that I can pay down a series of multi hundred dollar medical bills and STILL take my kids places. Its also because of those who have helped so much that I MUST succeed at overcoming this and return to working as soon as is physically possible. So, unless I start posting about expensive trips to Hawaii, posting pictures of my new Porsche, my yacht and my vacation homes, you can rest assured that Im not secretly living it up on the generosity of others. No one wants me to be back to 100% more than I do. For those who have been so generous, thank you. Ill never forget it and I will make it up to you in some way, if Im not already. For those curious about what the heck has been happening, now you know. Peace. CD sales still go towards all of this, FYI.
Posted on: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 03:44:30 +0000
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