HAPPILY EVER NOW Damn, I got me a woman. 20 years ago today Elisabeth and I walked onto an open field in front of the fountain at Nomahegan Park with 12 personally invited family members and friends who doubled as guests as well as witnesses to have an ordained minister we picked out of the phone book say a few magic words to make us husband and wife. No professional photographer. No elaborate banquet hall. No high priced reception. No getaway honeymoon. Just a simple meal with everyone after the ceremony and a drive to Lambertville for a couple of days. No fairy tale construct. Just the reality that a marriage, not the wedding, is the Happily Ever Now. I never even carried Lis across the threshold. We just took each other by the hand and walked across together. And we have been doing that ever since. Hand in hand. Together. I remember crying when I spoke my vow to Lis realizing that everything from the beginning of humanity till the moment we met had to work out exactly the way it did for me to have met her and been blessed enough to have her accept me into her life. I mean, not only did our parents have to have met but their parents and their parents and so on and so on all the way back to Adam and Eve (to make it understandable to everyone). And the choices we ourselves made (however spontaneous or thought out) and circumstances (however random) had to have happened when they did for us to meet. Our journey has been a love worth having. Not saying it was easy, because anything of real value takes work and care. We have weathered storms. We have been through the doldrums. We have averted shipwreck. We have navigated uncharted waters. We have sailed on distant horizons. Hand in hand. Together. (Not sure where that ship metaphor came from) And I know I have been blessed with a woman who has given me a life I did not merit. I have never been unfaithful nor abusive (not that either of those are some achievement because, really, one should never be praised for not doing what they are not supposed to do in the first place) but I know I have been loved more than I have loved; and that I have been cruel, at times, without cause; and that I have put the damage on. The list of reasons why I love Lis outnumbers the days we have been together and most I keep just for me but a telling one was when she immediately agreed to change her last name to one that is unique to both of us so she would belong to me and I would belong to her and no one else. Her answer was Sure (not in the Bill Murray Ed Wood kind of way but in that Why are you even asking? Absolutely! kind of way) Damn, I got me a woman. I mean, who else can say their wedding song is Love Song For A Vampire? To steal a line from a story by Geoffrey Lewis, when I think of what is the best memory I have of us, I have to say that the best one is the next one. She is my religion. She is my life. I recall my vow to her that still sums it all up: They say love conquers all, but that really isnt true. Its the people who love and are loved who conquer all. And as I hold your hands now, know that we will go through this life and conquer and share and savor whatever comes our way, hand in hand, together.
Posted on: Thu, 29 May 2014 03:12:56 +0000
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