HAPPINESS IS IN THE HEART, NOT IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES. --The way we make ourselves happy is unique to each of us. But the ways we make ourselves unhappy are remarkably common to all of us.So, perhaps, by not doing the things that makes us unhappy, we can create more space for deep and lasting happiness we long for. The Five Things LIFE GIVES We Cannot Change 1. Everything changes and ends. 2. Things do not always go according to plan. 3. Life is not always fair. 4. Pain is part of life. 5. People are not loving and loyal all the time. These are lifes givens. They are bedrock facts of our existence. If you fight these truths, you will lose. You will become frustrated, angry, and unhappy.But, if you accept them as reality, and work with them, you can think, feel, and act much more effectively. You will be happy in spite of what happens to you.Lets say a love affair you are committed to suddenly ends.A certain amount of grief and unhappiness is natural, perhaps necessary as learning from the experience. But, fighting the lifes givens can make us more than miserable.Fighting reality as it is can make us desperately unhappy, overly anxious, and hopelessly depressed. Heres how it happens.We start by arguing the relationship should not have ended. But it did end. Thats our reality.Arguing with ourselves, with the other, or with the Universe that the relationship should not have ended puts us in a position of arguing against reality.What does that bring us? Frustration. Grief. More unhappiness.Worse, when we argue with reality, we lose touch with it. It becomes hard to orient ourselves, make decisions, and take useful actions.Action devolves into seeking relief from suffering that we created by fighting the givens. Such relief-driven actions can be dangerous, addictive, and soul-destroying. They are not the way to happiness.
Posted on: Thu, 07 Nov 2013 06:43:26 +0000
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